I leave for training camp in less than two weeks and I have begun to wrestle with some of the deeper realities and some rudimentary theology. I am learning to reconcile all of this with our good King. Yesterday at 23 I realized …again, or maybe for the first time what freedom in Jesus really is. So here it is:
Not my Own
- You’d think because I’m 23
- A graduate of university
- And I have a bible degree
- I would know what it means to be free
- To be set free
- To live a life of freedom
- Void of anxiety
- To hold fast to Jesus
- And to lose worry
- But something in me didn’t understand
- Didn’t comprehend
- The formula required
- To set my soul free
- I kept telling myself
- This freedom is my own
- This life is my own
- This mission I am on
- These goals have
- My own
- When I was six I was set free
- I was born in sin
- Born in bondage and slavery
- Born not my own
- Born a product of the fall
- But one lone night as a little girl
- I was set free from the torrents of this world
- A king forgave me of all my wrongs
- Past present and future wrongs
- So when I was young
- I was forgiven
- I gave the king my heart of stone
- As haggard decrepit sinner I approached Him
- In my talons grasping what I thought to be my own
- This stone I carried
- I thought it gave me control
- I thought it meant I was free
- I was holding on to what made me-me
- This dark stone that was MY own
- But he took my heart of stone
- As I laid it at his feet
- I released my grip
- And as the blood pumped into my heart
- Through my veins
- And as my grasp relaxed
- By little body at his feet collapsed
- And he picked me up
- My life not my own
- And I arose a princess free from sin
- The filthy rags fell off of me
- And I danced in a field free
- With my king
- His daughter
- My life given to him
- Not my own
- Like a bride clothed in a white gown
- On my head flowers made a crown
- So at 23 I realize what it means to be free
- It means letting go of what I desire
- Letting go of my life that’s not my own
- Giving up what I thought was control
- And letting the King
- Set me free
- Because if I carry a stone
- A stone that’s not my own
- I’m weighted heavy and not free
- My mind is strapped with burdens
- My heart impoverished with worry
- Because I’m carrying a stone that’s not my own
- So at his feet I leave my stone
- And the King kneels down
- and pick up the daughter who is His own
- I rise free
- And dance with my king
- Freedom is giving up
- What I want to control
- And being allowed to be free
- Means giving a king
- What He paid for
- And is not my own
