I went into this month grieving the loss of the last. I really believed that nothing could compare to my time in Chile, and although that is true, I was incredibly wrong at the same time. I was immediately smacked in the face with the reality of how much I truly do underestimate God and all the amazing goodness He wants for me, just as much as I want it for myself.
This month has been one of the most amazing months of my life, and it’s only been a week in. All of the different ministries we’ve done so far on the race have been great, but this outweighs all of them a thousand fold.
This month, we have the biggest blessing of being able to live with 20 amazing boys. My team and I are split between two of the houses on the property; one house has 10 teenage boys, and the other has 10 younger. None of these boys are orphans, but all have stories of intense pain and abuse. The organization we work with takes them out of their homes or off the streets and gives them a place where they are able to live in safety. They send them to school, find sponsors for them, and implement a system within the house where they are able to have structure, learn responsibility, be themselves and learn that they have purpose, identity and love in a God who is bigger than, and very much in control of their circumstances.
This organization has also created a place for over a hundred other kids that don’t live in the homes. They started a program and a safe place where kids can come before and after school. This program is where we work during the day when our boys are at school. We help cook for them, serve them lunch and eat with them. We spend time with them to get to know them and help them with their homework. There are over one hundred kids that come every day during the week, and every single one of the kids that comes suffers from some form of domestic abuse every single day.
This organization screams Jesus. They bring in all the kids that most people don’t even want to associate themselves with. They don’t see “street kid”, but they see “worth”, and they do all that they can to help these kids see that in themselves as well. These people fight every single day to give these kids a life that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to have.
Some of these kids that they’ve brought in have been so neglected that they eat their food out of a bowl like a dog because have never even been taught how to eat with utensils before. Some of the kids don’t get a meal outside of the one that we serve them each day so they stuff their faces and protect their plates as if someone is going to take their food away from them. Most of them are so incredibly smart, but they don’t even know it or believe it about themselves because they’ve been told otherwise their entire lives. Every single one of their stories is heartbreaking. Some of the stories we’ve been told, but others you can easily guess because it is painfully obvious.
At the beginning of this month I asked for eyes to see our boys as He does. I asked for Him to give us an insanely deep connection with them and love for them that could only come from Him. I asked Him to give us a love for them that would break our hearts. I asked those things with expectancy, but I don’t think I really had a clue of how deeply He would actually do it. Its only been a week since we’ve gotten here. The love that we have for them within one week of knowing doesn’t really make sense. It doesn’t make sense that when we’re away from them for even a short amount of time, we would miss them as much as we do. It doesn’t make sense that I would rather skip out on an adventure day in order to just spend time with them.
I know that right now I don’t really know how to put it all into words and a lot of it is pretty overwhelming. A lot of it is super easy and a lot of it is really hard. It pains me beyond belief that parents could actually look at these faces that we spend time with every day, and treat them the way they do. A lot of their stories I can’t even bring myself to share, because these are actually people with actual souls and the most beautiful hearts and they deserve to be protected and cherished. I know that He has way more for us in this. I know that all of this is just the tip of the actual iceberg, but all in all, I choose to believe in the hope that is offered in the midst of it.
