At the end of June my team and I spent two weeks in Kosovo where our ministry was to organize and run a kids camp. Our hosts were an insanely amazing American family who had been living and doing ministry there for 12 years. Even though we were only in Kosovo for a short time, so much happened. We battled a lot of spiritual warfare while we were there, which very much ended up only strengthening our faith as well as our relationships. Aside from that, I think the biggest thing that God reminded me of in those weeks was how much He cares about our dreams.
Our ministry in Kosovo was to put together a kids camp for all the kids in the community. Our host told us that he was giving us full reign and we could do whatever we wanted with it. So, on our first day there, we spent time in prayer and all asked God for vision. I remember I sat down on the floor in the middle of the room, and as soon as I asked God to speak to me about the camp, he showed me a picture. I saw the room that we were all sitting in except it was completely transformed. The room no longer looked like it did before, and instead it looked exactly like I was sitting in the middle of a castle. The walls were made of stone, everything was colorful and there were flags all around the room. I immediately got super stoked because I love the space to be able to create anything and my mind was beginning to go nuts over all the possibilities.
After we spent time in prayer we all had to come back together to talk about the things that we heard. As we went around the table sharing what we had heard, multiple people ended up saying that they heard something about either a castle, a kingdom or princes and princesses. It was so cool how much everything lined up.
The next day, after we bought just about every art supply imaginable, we began to try to make the room look like as much of a castle as possible. We set up flags around the room, made decorations and set up all the stations that we needed for the camp. As we were setting everything up I just couldn’t help but be slightly disappointed. I remember having a conversation with in my head with God that went something like, “This isn’t what I got excited about. You showed me something so much bigger than this. I know I could do so much more with this if I just had the chance..but I don’t.” Almost as soon as I said that, our host came up to me and, out of the blue, said,”You can paint the walls if you want.”
The next few minutes went something like this:
Me: “Seriously??!”
Him: “Yes”
Me: “I can paint the walls??”
Him: “Yeah”
Me: “..like with actual paint??”
Him “Yes”
Me: “You seriously don’t care if I paint all the walls of this building with paint?”
Him: “No, go ahead. I’ll go buy you paint right now” (and then he did)
Basically, to sum it all up, I got to paint all the walls in this room of the mission house. By the end of the longest day of painting I have ever experienced, the room looked exactly like we were standing inside of a castle, and exactly like the picture that I had gotten the day before. I remember feeling so cared for and empowered because someone else believed in the vision that I had.
The camp was amazing and more kids ended up coming than any other year before. But, I think the thing that I was reminded of the most was something much bigger. It wasn’t until someone else believed in me and what I saw that I truly began to actually believe in myself. I can so often ignore my own desires or dreams because honestly most of them are pretty big and sometimes seem a little nuts. I so often don’t even give things a chance because I don’t really see how I can get myself from point A to point B in a situation that already seems so big. It’s always easier to go with the more comfortable option. But to ignore ourselves and our dreams and remain comfortable in settling for less is not how we are meant to live. It’s something so simple and yet I can so often forget it at the drop of a hat.
When we were kids we all believed we could be whatever we wanted to be when we grew up, but then somewhere along the lines we decided that “practicality” and being “realistic” was a better option. (I wanted to be a dog when I grew up, so this doesn’t really apply to me) There’s a point when we stop believing that there’s more for ourselves and begin settling for the easier things that somehow make more sense to our big ol’ adult brains. We care too much about what people think and risk becomes our greatest fear. I know this isn’t how we are meant to live, and it’s sad to think about how much we are missing out on because of it.
What I was reminded of that day in Kosovo is that God is a bigger dreamer than I am. He’s the one that gives us the big ideas, dreams and passions because, usually, we are meant to do something about them. So many of us don’t even allow ourselves to dream, let alone pursue them. And yeah, maybe we’ll try and we’ll fail. But maybe we won’t. Maybe God actually does care. Maybe God is actually as big as He says He is. And maybe He actually means it when He says He can do immeasurably more than we can think or imagine.
But how will we ever know if we never give Him the chance to show us?
