People keep asking what I’m going to do now that the World Race is over. Well, I finally have an answer.
But to properly tell the story requires some background information.
Back in August, when I was living in Uganda, I spent a lot of rainy afternoons praying about life after the Race. For months I’d fought hard to suppress thoughts about home, but finally the Lord gave me permission to begin making plans. And so from Uganda to the Philippines, for four months, I spent a lot of time in prayer. I also worked on my resume in a coffee shop in Rwanda, set up an interview while sitting on a deck overlooking the Nile in Uganda, and made other serious plans in my chilly Chinese apartment or from my hammock in the Philippines.
During my last four months on the field, I desperately wanted to stay focused on life in front of me, but I made sure to tell God my needs and desires for after the Race so that he could take care of me. There was only so much I could do from the literal other side of the world. So I said my prayers, got back to ministry, and trusted that the Lord would take good care of me.
Well now here I sit, thousands of miles removed from those rainy afternoons in Uganda and chilly nights in China. As I think back to all those prayers, all those things I specifically and seriously asked God for, I’m realizing that God did something that I really didn’t think he would do. He said no.
God said “no” to so many – almost all – of my prayers.
The Emily that I was a year ago would have been so angry and confused by God doing such a thing. But now I understand the Lord in new ways, and I trust him to incredibly higher heights and lower lows. And so, I praise God for saying “no”.
Because sometimes the best answer to our prayers is no.
As of last week, I started working for an awesome young church in San Antonio. My official job title is Youth and Missions Intern (although I must admit that being called an intern makes me cringe a little because I thought I’d left internships behind when I graduated from college). I am so excited about it though.
The thing is, this job wasn’t on my radar at all during those months of praying and planning and in fact, it only presented itself to me after all my other plans fell out of place. It seems that while I was busy planning different things for my life, the Lord was quietly at work preparing something else entirely.
With disappointment I watched as that “dream job” in Georgia didn’t work out, the job in Houston sort of dissolved into nothing, and even Austin – my beloved Austin – couldn’t offer me anything. But even as all my plans crumbled in my palms, I insisted that I would never move to San Antonio, that I wasn’t interested in part time jobs or internships, and that I “didn’t feel called” to the American Church. Ha.
God had something else in mind, obviously. And now with great joy and excitement, and with gratitude that those other things didn’t work out, I am starting the next season of life – doing all those things I insisted I wouldn’t do.
So yeah, maybe God said no to so many of my prayers and plans. But it’s not because he was spiteful or inconsiderate or apathetic. With great tenderness and attention to my needs did God present me with different plans for my life. His no was actually a thousand yes‘s; one closed door led to a dozen open ones. That’s the way I believe God works.
To all my friends out there who are still job hunting, still praying for specific things in life, just remember that the Lord hears all those prayers and plans to answer them in the best way possible. Be patient and hopeful and remember that the Lord is for you and never against you.
Don’t be afraid of the answer “no” or the commandment “wait”. Sometimes, that’s the best thing for us.
“Faith never knows where it is being led,
but it loves and knows the One who is leading.”
-Oswald Chambers
If you’re interested in my post-Race blogging adventures, feel free to follow along here.
