The evening before our squad dispersed throughout Guatemala, we met at the house of some American missionaries living in Antigua. The missionaries served us some delicious food and we all sat around a campfire in their backyard watching a volcano erupt in the distance. As the glow of the lava created a beautiful juxtaposition against the dark night sky, we transitioned into a time of worship.
Led by the Spirit, our squad leaders sensed that the group needed to focus on rest and release during worship that night. We needed to rest in the presence of God and release the things inside of us that aren’t of Him. And so, as individuals and as a group, we focused on asking God what we needed to release. And then we released those things. Into the night air we let go of fears, insecurities, and doubts. In the places where those feelings once lived, we allowed God to come in and replace them with His confidence, security, love, and grace.
As I listened to my friends confess and release things, I asked Jesus to tell me what I needed to let go of. It didn’t take long for Him to say, “You need to let go of your pride.” He’s told me this a few times lately, but that night I felt like He was calling me to really make the decision to let go. Though my Flesh revolted against the idea, my Spirit knew what needed to happen.
You see, the thing with pride is that it creates this false sense of security. We convince ourselves that we’re some how worthy or right and that our accomplishments or skills or features make us competent and commendable. But pride is dangerous because it leaves no room for grace. Pride leaves no room for God. Whereas pride makes us experience pseudo-security, what we really need is genuine vulnerability.
In vulnerability, we realize that we are in fact unworthy, incompetent, and inherently broken. Vulnerability allows our imperfections rise to the surface. And when our blemishes come into the light, we realize that flaws are actually nothing to hide away and be ashamed of. Everyone is equally faulty because everyone was equally inflicted by the Fall. So in a state of vulnerability, we confront our own imperfections and we’re drawn to that which is perfect. Recognizing our un-holiness, instead of masking it with artificial pride, makes us go looking for that which is holy.
Thus, the problem with pride is that it hinders us from experiencing the depths of God’s grace because it keeps us away from the Cross. In our own pride, we build up walls to protect ourselves from feeling insecure. We should therefore allow the Spirit to lead us to a place of vulnerability where our pride can be demolished so that God can construct His altar in our hearts.
