Have you ever been disappointed by some event in your life that
caused you to never want to do it again? Maybe your first experience riding a
bike blew, so you waited years to get on one…or never got on one again. Think
about it.
Last night I was reminded of my first & last surfing
experience. I got up super early one Tuesday morning before my 9:15am class,
packed up the surfboards on Becky’s car, & headed to the beach. My goal was
to go surfing…clearly! I had on my bathing suit and my new rash guard. I WAS EXCITED! It would be my first
time ever surfing experience!! Woohoo.
(Thank you Rachael for taking this picture of me…you’re so artsy.)
So we got to the beach, unloaded the boards, & walked out to
the waves. I was uber excited by this point. I felt super cool holding the
surfboard…even without getting in yet.
We waxed the boards as Becky taught me what I needed to know. I
strapped the cord to my ankle and faced the waves. I was scared & freezing
cold, but the excitement propelled me. I
screamed as the waves broke RIGHT on me. Clutching the board tighter under
my arm and screaming like a little kid I ran further in. That’s when it got
serious. Becky shouted over the crashing waves, “Keep the board straight!� This morning the pull of the waves was
super strong. Becky said it was a day for beginnings. However if I’ve set my face
towards accomplishing something, IT WILL
GET DONE. That ambition met those crashing waves in a tumble. I kept trying to go out,
but I just could not get through the waves break. I kept get hit and knocked
down. And then…the massive wave came. I thought it was just like all the
others…I mean they are waves. They ALL look the same. I jumped with my board
clutched even tighter under my arm, but I lost. The wave tackled me ferociously
to the bottom of the sea. It seemed like that was the end of my life because I
was under for so long. (When you have time to THINK about death under
water…you’ve probably been under for TOO long. Just a thought.) I hit the floor
while tiny sea rocks & shells jumped into my bathing suit as they scrapped
across my skin. And that’s when I heard my neck crack. Gasping for air,
I FINALLY surfaced. I was no longer screaming like a child, but was sobered to reality. I WAS DONE!
Surfing was over for me. No questions asked. NO MORE SURFING. I made my way up
the sand and sat there replaying the whole thing thinking, “Is my neck okay?
Did the rocks make me bleed? What just happened?�
I sat there watching the waves break before me as Becky tried to
paddle past. I looked down the beach longing to be like the pros out there
actually ON THEIR BOARDS as the sun rose in the distance. Oh how I wanted to
get past the waves, but I just couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t. I almost got really
hurt. In fact my neck WAS hurting & my lungs were recovering for the lack
of air. But the longing to surf was burning.
I was reminded of this experience last night while e were
worshipping. I was in my on little world with the Lord while the worshipper
leader was singing about the waves. We were all pressing in, jumping into God’s
love…jumping into Him. And I saw myself sitting on the shore with my knees
pulled up tightly to my chest. I was staring at the waves crash & at the
“pros� surfing. All I could think about was the pain that happened the last time I ran towards the waves. All I could
think about was the disappointment the last time I dove into believing God for the radical things.
I was replaying the last time I took a leap of faith and fell flat on my face. I was
reliving the pain of jumping into what the Lord had called me to. THE LAST THING I wanted to do was run head first into that which caused me pain, disappointment, tears. But as
much as I didn’t want the potential pain, I also wanted the kiddish joy of
playing in the waves.
I was faced with a choice:
continue in bitter & disappointed
OR
believe The Faithful God again.
I could stay merely longing on the shore
OR
run head first into the waves.
So I decided last night to believe again. I decided to shake off the sand & run towards the waves. I decided to love again. I decided to dream again. I decided to hope again. I decided to trust God again. I decided to declare again. I decided to FIGHT again. I decided. I decided. I decided! With each decision, I took a step closer to
the waves of God’s love. I wanted to be engulfed. I wanted to be alive.
So I just gave into it all. I ran towards God. I ran towards Love. I ran
towards Hope. I shouted within me and OUT LOUD:
“I’m not staying on the shore to just watch Your Love anymore.�
And He engulfed me! He overtook me…gently yet ferociously.
He poured love into my heart, so much that it overflowed out of
me. There I was splashing around…swimming…diving down deep into LOVE. I was
coming alive. I was living how I was created to live. It was all fun again. It
was a good thing…a wonderful thing…the best thing!!!!!!!!
So I ask again…Has
disappointment ever kept you from something?
Maybe God didn’t show up like you thought He would.
Maybe He didn’t speak when you wanted Him to.
Maybe your best friend hurt you.
Maybe your family didn’t do something you thought they should.
Maybe_____________ Fill in the blank.
I want to CHALLENGE you just like Papa challenged me.
FACE YOUR FEARS.
Don’t run away from a similar situation because you are afraid
you will get hurt again. Shove fear! Rise up & face your fears. It’s much
better to embrace that which you were created for. It’s more fun to win then to
sit on the side lines watching everyone else because you are afraid.
Go for it again…the outcome just might surprise
you!
~~And I’ve decided to go surfing again in real life!~~
