A group of 4 of us went into a gypsy village last week to share the Love of Jesus. The gypsy village we went to was the poorest we had been to yet…known for having lice. I didn’t really want to go…why? Clearly because its OUTSIDE my comfort zone. I love kids and talking about Jesus…but in my head I just felt pressure.
Matt preaching to the kids and village families!!!
Well we get there (unprepared b/c we had just found out a few minutes before we were leaving that we were actually going) and the kids flocked to us. I’m talking like Willy Wonka flocks to chocolate & bees flock to flowers…these kids ran to the 4 of us and started hanging on us & singing.
Initially I’m thinking about their heads and lice and how much I REALLY don’t want to touch them and get lice. But God impressed upon my heart love…this was my opportunity to love Him back with the same love He had put in my heart. This was my arena to love Him. “Yes! I am excited.� That concept changed my thought process, which changed my heart, which changed my actions. I love others because I have been loved. And how I love others is really me loving God. I can express love to God through singing, writing, dancing, artwork, etc…but loving others is quite the outlier…its one I haven’t fully tapped into. And this month, He has given me ample opportunities to love others as a way of really loving Him. (Thank you Jesus for putting love in me, so that I can overflow Your love onto Your people.)
So I let the kids hang on me. I touched them…realizing that He didn’t push children away from Him, even in a crowd. I touched their hands, their hair, their clothes, & I went in someone’s house…and you know what? I didn’t get lice. Instead I got smiles, laughter, love, beautiful faces surrounding me.
Our translator in the village was a lady by the name of Emma. She was precious. Logan, my teammate, spent some quality time with her…listening to her story & sharing compassion and love with her. Emma invited us to go see her house. She lived on top of a hill with an absolutely beautiful view of the surrounding hills. Though beauty surrounded her & was within her, beauty lacked in the natural. Where was her front door? Her windows? Her beds? Her 2 kids’ beds? The list could go on and on. Beauty was all around. Lack was all around. Somehow there seemed to be a disconnect. “God, I don’t understand this? How can Your beauty be everywhere & Your provision be nowhere?� Uuuugggghh. The girls pulling on me, grabbed my attention back…until we left.
The sweetest little girl….love her. (Emma’s daughter)
That was the poorest place I’ve ever been in my life. SERIOUSLY. Babies were naked. There was no running water…just a well to be shared by all the village’s 20 houses. But even the well looked questionable. No jobs available. Clothes & people were dirty. There was no church in the village…no building for such. As we left & came back to our village with some running water, yet my heart was searching for some answers.
Answers I have yet to find.
Answers that I feel are beyond me & all I know.
“What can I do?�
Hmmmm
“Can I buy them some food? Some clothes? A front door? What do they need? But then if I get them some food and clothes, it will all pass away in a few days or months. So maybe a job? But where? And what would they do? What can they do? Maybe I should teach them how to make something or paint something & then they can sell it? Yeah. So I’ll just have to move here and help. Uuuggghhh but Christian people are already here trying to help. And it just doesn’t seem to be enough………�
What have I done?�
Could it be that my own desire for more has left these people without. My selfish need to have more than my neighbor has left people halfway across the world with nothing?
I really really don’t get it.
God why do you allow people to be born, yet have them live and die like this? Do they even notice? Do they like it? Is it an endless cycle? I don’t get it. I don’t understand. Where are all the answers?
I woke up the next morning thinking,
“How can I eat more than enough when some don’t eat at all?�
(I just had to take lots of this precious one.)
I still don’t have the answers. I still don’t understand. I still don’t get it. But I do know love. I do know these kids. And I’m sure they will be carried in my heart as I wrestle for truth. They are worth far too much not to do so.
she speaks for herself.
