Over the past month I’ve really been struggling with the thought of what my future will look like after the Race.
Most of my struggles have been battling with fear, for I’m pretty sure that I’m going to step into some sort of long-term missionary lifestyle soon after the Race is complete. In fact… I would be extremely surprised if I didn’t.
Up until the past few days, this thought really scared me. In thinking about what a missionary lifestyle would look like for me, my mind would immediately jump to the most extreme situations.
“OMG, I’m never going to live in America again. I’m never going to spend the time with my father that I so strongly desire to spend with him so that our relationship can be stronger. I’m going to miss some of my best friend’s weddings. I’m going to miss so many Frisbee tournaments. I’m going to miss all of my favorite foods and drinks. I’m going to be all alone in a third world country with no one to hold my hand through it all.”
Sitting here writing this in hindsight, I can’t help but laugh at myself. Are you kidding me, Emily?! How selfish those thoughts are. The missionary lifestyle is NOT that bad. Shoot, I don’t even know what missions could look like for my life – I could still be living in America for all I know. Either way, following the call that God has for my life is going to be way better than any kind of life I could conjure up for myself on my own.
What’s been most encouraging to me throughout this month-long battle has been the community the Lord has surrounded me with here in Romania… and in that community, the reminder He has given me that He will never, ever leave me alone. Especially not when I’m walking in the pathway He has set before me.
Let’s talk about these blessings:
First of all, He’s blessed me with a family that I can call my own here on the Race. Living in intentional community with Savannah, Marianne, Kelli, Jah-Jah, and Seth has been such a blessing in so many ways. I value each of their friendships so much and love being in each of their presence’s. I love the wisdom and unique abilities each of them have to offer. I love their laughs. I love their frustrations. I love their honesty. I love their hearts. Whew.
Secondly, in addition to living with my own Race family here in Romania, He has also blessed me with the opportunity to live with another Race family. This month we’ve been partnered up with one of the all-girl’s teams on our squad, and it’s been good fun. Each of the girls in that group lights up my life in their own, unique way. The community, laughter, and joy they have to give is contagious. It’s really been a privilege to be able to partner up with them for the month.
Third, He’s blessed our teams with an amazing contact. Mihai is an amazing Romanian man in his upper-twenties who loves God more than anything. His thoughts and perspectives on life and theology are so full of wisdom and truth. His boldness is inspiring. His hard-working spirit, determination, and patience are all things I aspire to have in my life. His sense of humor is a perfect fit with ours. He is a great friend and quickly earned a place in our family as one we can call “brother”.
Fourth, He has blessed us with the amazing, encouraging friendships we have developed with the other local missionaries in the area. The Scottish missionaries Seth and I found on day one have become a huge encouragement to both of our teams. We have tried to and succeeded in hanging out with them as much as possible during our stay in Sistarovat. The wisdom and love they have offered us (both in actions and words) has and will hold a major impact on my life. Seeing the way they live their lives as missionaries and the community they have developed here for themselves is inspiring, and is one that I will model after should I ever enter into long-term missions in my lifetime.
Fifth, for the past week, there have been Texans living on the camp property here with us for a short-term mission trip. Texans… really?! On the first night they were here, I got a few of them together to play a game of ultimate and found myself saying to one of the girls, “How weird is it that we’re both from America but are here in this tiny village in Romania playing a game of Frisbee together.” Crazy town! These teenagers, college students, and adults have been a breath of fresh air for both of our teams. It’s been nice to have their youth, energy, conversation, questions, laughter, and friendship around. It’s been nice to have a piece of home in our lives, even if only for a week.
Sixth, Seventh, etc. – Americans are just everywhere. The other day we met a group of adults from Indianapolis, Indiana in our village who were here for a short-term mission trip as well. Similarly, I met a college-aged guy from Michigan in a coffee shop last weekend who was hanging out for the summer with some family and friends he had in the area. We’re everywhere. Home is everywhere. Not that it’s even about that… we don’t need Americans in our lives to feel comfortable or at home… but after being away for so long, it’s just nice.
All of that to say, this month God has shown me that I will never be left alone, no matter where I am. He will always provide a community for me to dwell in and be able to call my own. Sure, it might not be with the friends I’ve had my whole entire life or have come to love the most over the past couple of years… but He will always provide. & Whoever He does provide will become family to me. He doesn’t ask us to do things on our own. He doesn’t ask us to not be in community. In fact, He desires the opposite for us. All throughout the Bible and history it is clear to see that God wants us to be in community with one another, I mean, common, He even said it Himself – “It is not good for man to be alone”. We need community in our lives to carry on. We need family in our lives to be whole. He will never deprive us from those blessings.
Whew, what a relief!
He’s so good!
