As I walk into the Panera on Tyrone and 66th street in St. Petersburg, Florida I peer around the corner checking to see if my table is available….just as I see it is not one of the workers comes up to me and says, “I am sorry your table is taken mam”. I sit at a table not too far from it and there I wait until one of the booths become available. It is a small 2 seater booth…cozy, comforting, and small. Once settled in my booth I order the same thing as always…a hot tea, English breakfast of course. This is just one example in my life of how I like going the same places, I like getting the same things, I like sitting at the same tables to the point where people I don’t know, know that I sit there! Some people don’t enjoy going to the same coffee shop, restaurant, park, mall, or grocery store….but not me. Why would I want to go to a different Publix (grocery store) where the layout could be different? This is also probably why I don’t get the best deals on chicken which my mother is always encouraging me to go here go there is a better price difference!
I would not pick change. I would pick to do things the same. I am realizing the Lord knows this about me and He intentionally draws me out of my, “Panera booth” and he sets me in change. He sets me in places that are unfamiliar and challenging and cause me to rely much more on Him then I would otherwise. He takes me on these wild adventures that I never would have planned for myself.
After traveling the world doing missions in 11 countries in 11 months the Lord moves me back to Florida for 7 months, then out to San Diego, California for 6 months where my sister and I literally drove across the country in a grand marquis that is 15 years old and I have had the car since I was 16 years old!!… and we just found out Ryan got Seattle, Washington this week!! I am beginning to think the Lord likes change in my life J
Moving out to San Diego has drawn me into a deeper relationship with the Lord where I have learned to trust him more and more. I started a brand new job that feels way over my head, is hard, and has definitely caused me a few sleepless nights and tears, living on my own for the first time in my little cottage, not having any friends out here, and learning these CRAZY freeways!!! I never considered myself a small town girl until I came out here and realized wow yes I am! what in the world are all these roads going over top of on another?!?! People think probably that it was easy moving out here because I had Ryan, but there have been many challenges in the other areas of my life. Ryan has done an amazing job at supporting and loving me in this season but it doesn’t mean it still has not been really hard. Opposite to what movies make moving across the country for be near the love of your life out to look like (love you ryanJ ) it is by no means easy! My job alone stretches me more then I could have ever imagined.
What I am learning is to walk in more faith like Abraham did. “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, OBEYED and went even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country…for he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God” Heb. 11:8-10.
This was the verse that led me out to San Diego one night in Florida before I even talked about it with Ryan. And this is the verse the Lord brought me to again for Ryan and Seattle. I am learning that our dreams are sometimes just that, they are OUR dreams. They are our desires and the things we want. But sometimes the things that I want are not the Lords dreams or plans for our life. Otherwise I might be in Africa right now, serving God yes, but not because He drew me out there but because I wanted to be there…those were my plans as I was on the world race, but not the Lords plans…have you ever had this happen to you where you keep thinking but Lord I would be doingYOUR work why not do this or join this ministry or team??
…The truth is, they are unwilling to die to themselves. They don’t understand that dying is the key to living, that with abandonment abundant life springs forth, that with abandonment comes a supernatural peace, a supernatural hope…
…We get impatient…we don’t feel like there is enough immediate payback…we’re lonely and we may be facing some kind of wilderness experience, we don’t want to wait for God to fill our needs…so we settle for a temporary filling…
I am learning about abandonment and how true abandonment in your life brings such abundance and fruit. The dreams you never thought you had become what you could never live without. Because when you walk in obedience to a place or into a season the Lord calls you to it becomes so much greater and rewarding then desperately trying to hold onto “your dream” and not change.
I was talking to one of my best friends a couple nights ago who reminded me that everything in our flesh tries to run from any area that may cause us to suffer, be a hardship, or tough in this life. But through the suffering, the tears, and the hardships are often what we are called to that we may know Him better.
What is the Panera booth in your life? What do you not want to change, let go of, or let God prune in your life? Is God calling you to a different job, into a relationship or to leave one, to move somewhere new, to do missions, to have a child, to adopt, to come in humility to your spouse and change the way you are approaching him or her, is He calling you to move things around in your schedule to be able to lead young men and women to help the younger generation to grow in the Lord? Are you on the verge of getting divorced and God is calling you to obey what He has spoken and remain as one where there WILL be abundance to follow?
Please always feel free to email me wanting to talk about the change or difficult decisions you are making in your life right now that we may uplift and encourage one another! Also, if you have been in a season of change before and the Lord taught you something please share it with me J I love you all and love hearing from you! Have a wonderful day, Em
