Day 5 continued:
After such an amazing experience during the final team time I started to get even more excited about finding out our real team, but that would have to wait until tomorrow. That evening I was pulled aside and told I was a leader for the dinner activity. Trent, Brian, Sharion, and I were given money and told we had one hour to feed our squad in the "marketplace" set up in the parking lot. Immediately I felt overwhelmed by this task and it was not a good experience. I took charge between the 4 leaders and became very task oriented. I felt overwhelm with the responsibility to feed all 50 people. I didn't know how much food was needed, we have people with allergies, the marketplace was busy, and we were on a time crunch. I ended up learning a lot about myself through this experience. I am a tornado when I get stressed. Everyone could feel it and I didn't have anyone near me telling me to call down. It wasn't until the end of the experience where one of my teammates saw me and said, "Emily relax, it will all be okay." I needed to hear that in order to realize how stressed I had become. After the experience was over and we brought the food inside I literally couldn't not do anything. I laid the food down and said, "can I be excused from my responsibility now?" I went in the corner and sat. I wasn't hungry and I didn't want to talk to anyone. I felt like all the energy had been drained from me and I had nothing left. People came over end affirmed me and said I'd done a great job. About 30-45 mins later we walked to the auditorium and I had to lean on my teammate to walk. I was literally falling asleep. As a squad we reflected on the experience. Lots of people voiced concern of not knowing what was happening. They could feel the stress of the situation. I realized that what I was feeling rubbed off on others. I apologized for not handling my stress well and felt much better once I had explained the emotions I was feeling. Later that night Lashon pulled me aside and gave me some great advice. She said I had disappeared through the experience. She watched as the Emily she knew disappeared and a tornado appeared. I must learn that the task should not overtake the relationship. I cannot get so focused on a task that I steamroll everyone. I had just felt so much responsibility I couldn't handle it on my own and I didn't realize I could delegate.
Here's what I take from this experience: "Even though you have a responsibility doesn't mean you are the one who has to do it." Where in life can you ask for others around you to support and encourage you so you don't have to go it alone?
Day 5 ended with us sleeping in the dorms. First night in a bed!!
