“Emily I’m afraid,” the words came to me as a barely audible whisper as we walked to the Coleraine city center. The whisper had come from Lilly; the five year old, blond haired, blue eyed, cute as a button, little Northern Irish girl. Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to reassure Lilly when I was full of fear as well. The question that escaped my lips was as much for me as it was for her; I simply said why?
For me, the month spent serving at Causeway Coast Vineyard Church in Northern Ireland was a constant battle with exhaustion and with my fears. This may come as somewhat of a shocker to some, but I really am not comfortable with walking up to random strangers and sharing the Gospel with them. I know; I have now been on a mission trip doing just that for 9 months, but to tell the truth a lot of the time “evangelism” has not been on the schedule, (evangelism is difficult when people don’t speak the same language and there is no translator as well). That doesn’t mean that we sit around and never tell people about God, it simply means that the majority of the time we are serving in other ways. Teaching English, homeless ministry, bar ministry, construction, agriculture, sports ministry, and working with churches. Working in churches typically looks like doing worship, preaching, sharing testimonies, and so forth. This is why when month eight rolled around I was still not comfortable with walking up to complete strangers and talking about God.
I was forced to face my fears on the island of Ireland. Imagine walking up to a stranger and asking if they would like any prayer for healing. We believe that God has the power and authority to heal all bodily ailments; be it bones or the flu, but what does it look like to put that belief into practice. In Coleraine we were involved in a ministry called Healing on the Streets, which is exactly what the name suggests. One Saturday (after a few hours of training), my team and I found ourselves in the city center praying for healing. Frankly it was terrifying to walk up and say, “Good morning I was wondering if there is anything that you would like prayer for,” or, “Can I ask you a question, if there was one thing God could do for you what would it be,” but the moment when someone’s legs literally grow as you hold them is more than worth it.
Needless to say for someone like myself who inherently believes that nobody wants to talk to them, evangelism is a big source of anxiety. The hour I spent with Lilly and her older brother Luke was no different. That morning we had been told that we would be helping with a youth event called Reach; of course in typical World Race style we had no idea what it was until we showed up. At Vineyard Church they do an activity with the kids called a Treasure Hunt, meaning we pray for the Lord to reveal through words or visions people that we are meant to talk to and then hit the streets looking for them and evangelizing along the way. Lilly and Luke were paired up with Team Emily, as the “adults” it was our responsibility to set an example and also not to lose them.
We prayed and I got absolutely nothing; no picture, no words, not even an idea. How on earth was I supposed to set an example of listening to the Lord if he didn’t tell me anything? Honestly I felt like little Lilly who was too afraid to pray out loud in front of three other people. It was as we were walking out of the building to hit the streets that she told me she was afraid. Little did I know that little five year old girl would teach me about overcoming fears.
It was after only a handful of people that Lilly started opening up. Instead of walking with her head low she began literally running up to people to ask if they needed prayer. Emily and I just followed behind the brother and sister pair and smiled. We were awestruck by the reckless faith of the kids, we admired their courage, we fell in love with their boldness as they approached person after person, and their perseverance as they were rejected again and again. By the end of the event Lilly who had been to afraid to pray out loud volunteered to pray for the entire group. Even now a month later I am still smiling about the fire in that little girls heart for the Lord.
So what exactly did Lilly teach me? Well, she taught me to just do the thing. What good is it for me if I simply store up knowledge in my head and not use it. Paul wrote to the Corinthians about using their knowledge of the Lord and loving people, and that all the knowledge in the world does nothing unless it is acted upon. Action can seem scary, but if we follow our Father with the passion of a child soon fear is lost in the sheer joy of loving. Sometimes all we need is faith like children.
