Last week at this time, I woke up before the sun and crawled out of bed. By 5 am I was snuggled up with my teammates, in the back of an old green pickup truck, looking up at endless night sky. As we left the village, the wind blew violently against my face and my eyes peeked out of my fluffy, red sleeping bag squinting to behold the beauty above. I've never seen so many stars! My body ached with exhaustion, but I couldn't take my eyes off the scattered specks of light breaking through the dark. It was as if I had my eyes upon grace itself-grace upon grace.
In that moment, peering up at heaven's light shining through the darkest night, I saw His mighty hand at work in a broken world and it was beautiful. I saw Psalm 150:6 happening before my eyes.
"Let everything that has breath praise the Lord."
The stars were sparkling for His glory and the moon reflecting His light and shouting His praise. It was as if all of creation were declaring, "holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty" and it took my breath away.
Eventually, just as the sun was coming up, my heavy eyelids won my fight against sleep and I drifted off. But, just before I did, I remember thinking that if I was looking at grace, I didn't ever want to look at anything else.
This whole month has been like that moment beneath the stars. Coming out of December, a month of loss, grieving, confusion, missing home, team changes, and a sadness I can never quite explain, I felt like January breathed new life into my lungs. Suddenly, everything was a bit more clear. I could see things brighter and feel more deeply.
It's been the kind of month where you wake up to elephants in your front yard and team times are spent beside a pond at dusk. Where grandpa takes you to his rice field to harvest and breaks are spent in your hammock reading the Word, listening to Yud and Tip giggle and sing. Where you get to see God's love in a father's eyes every time he looks at his daughters. Where your Thai dad takes you fishing on river underneath the beautiful, old tree with exposed roots. Where you stop on the side of the road to watch the bright orange sun settle beneath a beautiful lake with islands of tall grasses and birds flying just over the water. It's "I must be dreaming, so please don't wake me" good.
It's a month of joining in with creation's hallelujah chorus and lifting my gaze on high. It's breathing in grace every morning. It's taking a moment longer to let beauty sink into my skin. It's constant thanksgiving, because I know that every good thing, big or small, is a gift from the Lord.
Not every month can be a month that feels so wrapped in such radiant grace, but every day, despite our feelings, God gives us a thousand gifts to point us to Him. What would happen if we saw that every ounce of joy and beauty in this life was grace-an undeserved gift from God Himself to His precious kids? And realizing that, what if we chose to focus on those things- to really take in each moment and praise the Lord like the rest of creation does so magnificently?
What if we settled for nothing less than fixing our eyes on grace-grace upon grace?
