Have you ever been in a room and your first instinct is to figure out how you measure up to each of them?
I’m funnier than them.
They’re way prettier than me.
They know a lot more about this subject.
At least I’m more qualified in this way.
Comparing ourselves to others is often a natural reaction when we are in a group of people.
I know that I have struggled a lot with comparison in my life. I have found it easy to think less of myself by seeing things that other people had- which often times brought feelings of jealousy and bitterness towards them. I have also found myself tearing down others in my head just to make myself feel better about myself.
This was never something I did with the intentions of hurting myself or others, just something that kind of came subconsciously. Instead of asking myself why I was having these feelings, it was easier to just suppress the negativity and keep living in a way that people would only see confidence and joy in me.
I was hoping that as I started the Race these feelings of comparison would just disappear. I mean, I get to spend 11 months with an awesome community of believers! We will be able to build each other up and learn so much from each other! While most of this is true, I am in an awesome community where I am learning a ton and getting built up in so many ways- comparison was still showing up!
I entered Debrief after month one and was surrounded by 36 people who seemed to have a better relationship with Christ and really have their lives together. I found myself feeling inadequate and unsure of what I had to offer. By only focusing on what others had, I was blind to all the gifts that the Lord had given me!
Month two consisted of persistent prayer in asking the Lord what my gifts were. How was He going to use me for the Kingdom? The Lord is so faithful you guys! God has revealed so much to me about my gifts and ways that He wants to use me! Some things I just needed a good reminder and some things I had no idea about.
Coming into month three, which is all squad month, I was super excited but also a little nervous…
Was it going to be a month where I chose to see everyones gifts and put myself down because of it? Or was I going to be joyful in their gifts and attempt to learn from them? Was I going to look down on others because I have gifts that they could grow in? Or was I going to help others with my gifts?
Was I going to choose comparison or was I going to choose freedom?!
Galations 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Galations 5:13 says that we are called to be free!
COMPARISON STEALS OUR FREEDOM
The Lord has called us to freedom! Our identity is rooted in being a son or daughter of God. Knowing and being confident in this truth has been the first step for me walking in freedom! I can see my insecurities: jealousy, bitterness, judgement. But, instead of sitting in them I can own my mistakes, take them to the Lord, and walk in freedom because my identity is not in those flaws, but in being a daughter and co-heir to Christ!
When God sees me He doesn’t see my flaws, but instead He sees Jesus! How amazing is that?!
I’m not going to say I’m free from comparison. I have to choose every day to trust in the Lord and my identity in Him rather than my value coming from how I measure up to others. Some days that choice is pretty easy and sometimes that choice is really hard. The beauty is that I get to show myself grace because Jesus died for me to have this grace. I’m not perfect, and God knows that!
This month has been SO GOOD! Freedom has been SO GOOD! God is SO GOOD!
I’m so excited to continue to grow and learn more of what it means to walk in freedom from comparison!
Just a reminder: My LAST fundraising deadline is April 30th! I still need $2,900 to be fully funded!!!! Thank you so much to everyone who has donated so far! I love and appreciate y’all so much!
