Meet Nha (pronounced similar to knee):
A 7-year-old Vietnamese orphan; an answer to my prayers.
I can't actually show you a picture of Nha (they asked that we didn't post photos online), so instead here is a photo of me at what I imagine was around age 7…
But trust me when I tell you she is the most beautiful girl in the world.
—
This month our ministry has been more relational based, since Vietnam is a closed country. This month has been about sharing God's love by building relationships, by talking to people and letting the Holy Spirit do all the work.
This has been extremely difficult for me. My people skills are non-existent.
I know, this is very surprising for a missionary, but hey I didn't choose this, I just answered the call.
This month started by us visiting an orphanage/elderly home.
The orphans here were all handicapped mentally/physically, mainly due to residual Agent Orange. Honestly, this was hard for me. I have a cousin who is mentally handicapped, but I've only seen him a handful of times in my life. I had no idea how I was supposed to interact with these children! Thankfully, there were 28 of us so I was able to just hang in the background.
We also spent some time with the elderly, which was just as difficult. This one precious, little old lady kept trying to speak to me in Vietnamese but our translator was nowhere to be found. One man kept passing me notes, but naturally they were in Vietnamese and the only word I recognized was Vietnam. We ended up just sitting awkwardly with them. Thankfully, again, some people were naturals at communicating without speaking the same language, so I was able to sit in the background again.
The thing about sitting in the background, though, is that it is very unfulfilling. In fact, it makes you feel pretty useless and makes you question why God would bring you to a place like this.
I've always known this year was about me. About God using this year to teach and stretch me. From the first time I realized God was calling me to the race, I questioned it because I don't have good relational skills. So, this month kind of felt like all of my fears and self-doubt were being confirmed.
Then I took a step back and looked at where God had brought me.
This is a year about growing, and I fully believe he's going to grow me in my relational skills. He's going to show me how to love His children like He does. My entire team is full of women who have natural nurturing skills, and I realized that each one of them could help me.
I want to love children. I want to be able to love on people, even with a language barrier.
So, I prayed that God would send me a child. That he would give me a friend at the orphanage.
—
Today, that prayer was answered. We went to a new orphanage. We brought coloring books, nail polish, balloon-animals, temporary tattoos, and just played with the children. I followed my teammate, Morgan, around so that I could learn from her.
Rocking matching tattoos with our translator.
We took the kids outside to play duck-duck-goose. Most of the children played, but there were a few that sat back. I was instantly drawn to this little girl playing with her balloon animals, sitting on the ledge of the porch.
She actually started the conversation, asking me how to spell my name. I asked her how to spell her name, Nha. I tried to ask her age, but she just smiled and shook her head, not understanding my question. Our translator was able to ask her for me, she's 7. Then she motioned for me to come sit beside her on the porch.
Most of the time I just sat next to her. Both of us frequently turning to look at each other just smiling, because she didn't know much English and I know even less Vietnamese. I played with her balloon-animal dog and she sang me the ABC's.
And that's what I've been waiting for. For God to show me that he made me a quiet person for a reason, so that I could hang back and love on children that might not be caught up in the chaos with everyone else.
And as I got down from that ledge and Nha took my hand, I thanked God for bringing me such a special little girl. I thanked God for showing me that he didn't make a mistake calling me to the Race. I thanked God for giving that shy little girl the courage to talk to me. I thanked God for softening my heart towards his children.
When we first pulled up to that orphanage, I never expected to leave a little sad. But as we pulled away I couldn't help but think that I will likely never see Nha again, and that thought unexpectedly pulled at my heartstrings.
—
My dad joked around before I left that I would come back with children I had adopted. I laughed it off because I'm horrible around kids. But sitting here writing about this special little girl, I can already see how God is going to break my heart for future orphans that aren't as lucky as Nha, that aren't being taken care of. And as sad as that makes me, it also makes me happy to see God changing my heart.
