Here I am.
I’ve been back in the States for over 2 months.
I’m not sure where the time has gone.
Sometimes it feels like I’ve only been home for a few weeks.
Sometimes it feels like I’ve been on American soil for years.
But here I am.
Sitting on a twin-sized bed in Gainesville, Georgia.
And once again I am finding myself in a place that I never expected to be.
If you had told me last September that I was going to be working with AIM, I would have laughed.
I never wanted to be one of those racers.
But here I am.
I applied for CGA in April at my month 8 debrief.
I had no plans for after the race, so it seemed like a good enough opportunity.
And it was only for a year.
But somewhere between month 8 and month 11 I changed my mind.
I wanted to move to Alaska.
I wanted to make money for a change, not just pay it.
I wanted an apartment all to myself.
I wanted to use my B.S. in Environmental Science.
I wanted to do what I wanted to do.
But here I am.
As much as I wanted those things, I wanted to follow where God was leading more.
God didn’t force me to come to CGA.
I asked for it.
I prayed that He would guide my next steps.
That He would show me which path was best.
And I fully believe that if I had moved to Alaska God would have blessed it.
He would have used me.
I still would have had a life to be proud of.
But here I am.
I wanted more.
I still want more.
I want to live my life to the fullest.
I want to know that at the end of the day I am following God’s perfect will for my life.
Because He knows a heck of a lot more about the universe than I do.
And for whatever reason, Gainesville is the best place I can be right now.
Of course, I’m human and stubborn and wanted God’s best
will for me to be living in Alaska.
But here I am.
Sometimes when God doesn’t give me the answer I’m looking for, I keep looking.
I keep praying for discernment.
I keep waiting until I ‘hear’ from Him.
But God knows how to get my attention.
I’ve been blessed with amazing, discerning, and loving people in my life.
And God used them to reach me.
I had many people encouraging me to rethink coming to CGA.
I was placed in situations that other’s saw as obvious signs that God wanted me in CGA, but I just ignored them.
But here I am.
God was persistent.
And I was reaching a breaking point.
I strongly desired to hear what He was saying, no matter what it was.
And He was telling me to go to CGA.
And here I am.
Sometimes it takes time for me to accept where God is calling me.
But I will always say yes to where He leads.
I know that He will take care of me.
I know that if He is calling me somewhere it is important.
And here I am.
My heart is so full.
I feel so loved.
I feel blessed.
I feel joy.
I am truly happy.
