R.I.P…rest..in..peace.

I knew that this year would be a struggle as far as eating different foods, sleeping with bugs, and not having my daily steamy hot shower…but I never knew that I would struggle with finding rest from my past and resting in God’s presence.

                                      

I would consider myself a person who is always on the go and always wanting to stay busy with all sorts of adventures. I do not like sitting still and I have been this way ever since I can remember. I have never been the one to enjoy a nap because I personally feel likethey are a waste of time. Naps are overrated and there is so much you can do with that time instead of sleeping the time away.

With that being said, I realized I don’t like missing out on opportunities either. I want to do everything and take every opportunity that comes my way…even if that means I run myself empty and get exhausted trying  to fit it all into my schedule.

Here on the world race they believe that each individual should have their own Sabbath day. We are encouraged to take a day off of ministry (if needed) to find “rest” in our personal lives…whatever that looks like for us (spiritually, mentally, and, or physically).

My ideal “day of rest” (or a normal day of rest back home) would be a day filled with going shopping, going on a hike or for a run, going out to eat, and pretty much anything that doesn’t require sitting still.

                                                       

As you can see, this whole “personal Sabbath day thing” is a huge struggle for someone who does not know how to rest…

If rest is so freeing and peaceful and God tells us that He will recover our lives through rest…
how come I do not enjoy it?

As I am wrestling with this question and reflecting back on my past, I am starting to uncover why I truly do not like to rest…

By slowing down, finding rest, and sitting still, I would have to deal with wounds that I do not want to uncover or deal with. It means that I would have to own up to my mistakes and let go of my burdens. As a result to this way of thinking, I would keep myself busy so I would not have to stop and deal with the obstacles in front of me. I was tuning out working on my soul and fixing my inner problems and I was finding anything and everything to stay busy…even if it made me unhappy. I was not taking time to rest and process my life or my feelings at all. By constantly running and not finding rest, I was only making matters worse. What an unhealthy lifestyle I was living…

                                                                 

 
When I think about what God has done for a girl like me, a girl who has been running away over and over again and not resting in Him, I am overwhelmed by his grace.  I don’t deserve this love and forgiveness that I have been experiencing this year on the world race. I cannot truly fathom how God could have saved someone like me…I was saved from a rocky and broken path…and the only way I can really describe it as is God literally picking me up and placing me on a new path.

                                                       

I would have never imagined God answering my prayers in this way…

I don’t know how or where I got the strength to step out of my comfort zone for the next year of my life but all I do know is that I am SO thankful to have a redeeming and loving Father who forgives me of my past and accepts me for the way I am.

God knows me better than I know myself and he knows my wants and my needs.

He knew all along I needed this year to rest…to reflect…to find refuge in Him alone.

In the midst of finding rest in God and in my past, I am able to share my story of hope with the whole world in hopes that they can find rest through Jesus Christ as well!

                 

By sharing my testimony at church and all of my stories,I am uncovering more and more truths about myself. I am finding rest in my life and uncovering wounds that I have ran from my entire life that I never knew were there. It has been so rejuvenating and I am truly starting to uncover my identity in Christ…but there is so much more to be uncovered and so much more rest to find and I have never felt more free in my life!

I have found so much peace in sitting back and saying no to the opportunities that I would love to go experience, but know that they would not bring me rest.I am starting to love sitting around and doing absolutely nothing on my rest days…which if you know me well, this is unreal.

                                               

It is so important to find rest in the busyness of life and slow down once in a while to listen to what God is teaching you and to see the path He wants you to take. Even if you don’t feel physically tired..you can always find rest in God and find rest from the chaos that life throws at you!

                                                         
                                                   I am resting in God's peace….