The day before we left the United States a teammate of mine gave each of us a bracelet that said love (made by the organization MudLove, check it out).
Being a gift person that bracelet has meant the world to me.
As we embarked on this journey it was a constant reminder of the ultimate gift I would bring to the people I would meet.
Aside from a few days that bracelet has not left my left wrist. It has been to 14 countries. It has been dipped in two oceans and several seas. It was with me when I faced the death of a child, helped passed out medications to campers in South Africa, and when I hugged teammates and children who desperately needed the loving reassurance that touch can only give.
I know it seems silly.
It’s “just a bracelet” right?
Well, for me its a bracelet that carries a lot of sentiment. It sums this journey up in the one word.
Today is the day I took it off my wrist and placed it on the wrist of a girl I have fallen in love with.
Her name is Lili and we’ve only met a handful of times.
We’ve been volunteering at kids clubs all over our Romanian province.
The club meetings consist of games, songs, and a Bible lesson.
The kids that come all have different stories but what I have noticed is that they all hunger for love.
Kids that I just meet run into my arms, hold my hands, hang on my legs, or touch my hair.
Lili is one of those girls that I crossed paths with. Her story is an alcoholic abusive father, a mother that abandoned the three children to get away from the abuse which led to them moving in with her grandmother and Lili assuming the role of caretaker. She is thirteen. They barely scrap by since her grandmother has no definite source of income. Despite the poverty, after the kids club held at her grandmother’s house Lili offered our team some delicious cake and apples. The hospitality was moving.
The next day Lili came to a different kids club. She made space on the crowded couch for me and didn’t let go until it was over. As she held my hand, she played with my bracelet and said a few things in English that she knows. “Love! I like.” And then smiled in such a way I knew in my heart what I had to do even though it meant parting with my beloved bracelet.
Today during church I found Lili and took the bracelet and put it on her wrist. I couldn’t tell her with words why I was giving it to her but the large grin told me she understood.
I have come across a lot of children on this Race. I have fallen in love with so many of them. As a feeler I have always kept in the back of my mind that this is short time I am with them and reminded myself not to get too close. I want to love them well but I don’t want to feel the pain of having to leave them. Especially when I am leaving them in circumstances of extreme filth, starvation, or abuse.
I’ve been real bad at the don’t get too close category.
It always amazes me how fast I get attached to the kiddos. Even when I try not to.
It breaks my heart to think of the things they experience at such a young age.
I want to save them.
Protect them.
Provide for them.
The truth is that I can’t.
I have to keep telling myself that I serve a God who has a heart for children. When I am inadequate He is sufficient. He sees them all and cares about each one of them. They are not lost on Him.
There are a lot of ugly things in this world.
I cannot fix them all. I cannot set everything right.
BUT I can do something very simple.
Love.
And as hard as it is sometimes I try my best to let these kids know in the fleeting moments I am with them that they are loved. They are cherished. They have value. They are precious in His sight.
If one moment in time: one hug, one smile, one word, one prayer can change the trajectory of someone’s life then this crazy song and dance of coming in for a month and then leaving was worth it.
I gave that bracelet to Lili in hopes that when I leave she will have the daily reminder that she is loved. I pray it gives her strength in the tough moments and peace in the joyous moments. Words are powerful; they can change atmospheres. Every time she looks at that ceramic tile and says the word love I pray it loosens the chains of poverty and abuse that entangle her life. That someday she will be freed and be able to spread the love that some American girl showed her at a kids club.
The One who is love is far more capable than I am. He bridges the gap when human efforts fail. He stays long after I leave.
As my journey overseas comes to an end I realized I don’t need a bracelet to remind me of that. I have children’s faces and stories in my heart that will.
