Month one has ended and I have surrendered.
I have surrendered, but I have not lost.
In today’s society we tend to relate surrendering to losing, but we cannot lose to the Lord because he is on our team. With this said I still have to choose daily to walk forward, release, and surrender the things that cause me to be in bondage. I’m learning surrendering takes actions, and we can’t just stay complacent. We have to do something about it.
So, my friends, month one has come and gone and so has the Emily I was trying to be.
The Emily who left the states is changing. Changing for the better. Changing to let the Lord take what is there and transform her into the daughter of Christ the Lord made her to be.
Who am I, you ask? I don’t really know anymore and that is a scary place to be. Over this first month the Lord has uncovered a lot in my life.
During a one on one with my Squad Leader, I was asked what the Lord has been teaching me this month. My heart sank when I realized that He has been showing me over and over that with I truly don’t know who I am.
This is a weird place to be.
How do I simply not know who I am?
As long as I can remember, I have strived to become who I think I should be or who others want me to be. This month the Lord has slowly began to strip away the parts I have held onto for so long. He is preparing to strip was away the lies I have believed and taken on as my identity. Yes, this isn’t the most comfortable place to be, but I’m ready to finally see myself as the Lord sees me. I’m excited to be the most “me” I’ve ever been. I’m excited to find who the Lord wants me to be.
A few nights ago, I surrendered how I view myself, my identity, my doubts, and the expectations I have previously set for myself.
I’m scared, but I’m excited to give the Lord room to reveal things to me and make room for Him to work.
From now on my goal for the race is to courageously trust in the Lord’s goodness. I am agreeing to stop fighting, stop hiding, and stop resisting the things that the Lord is bringing up in me.
I challenge y’all to walk in this season with me. Open your hands for the Lord’s will to be done, cause when our fists are closed we can’t grasp on to anything more. Why hold on to worldly possessions when we can give them up to the Lord and make room for the beautiful gifts the Lord wants to place in our hands.
Make room in your life for the Holy Spirit to come and move in your life.
