So here’s the thing, I’m a runner.
I always have been.
My race is nearing the end of its current course and I have taken time to reflect upon my last nine months.
While I have been processing, I’ve been taken back to the beginning of the race. I’ve looked back at my blogs and journals and wondered if I really changed at all.
I know I have, but I doubt myself sometimes.
The Lord has been trying to show me over time that I’m a runner.
I have been a runner most of my life and I have been pretty aware of that.
I run from situations that are hard and uncomfortable.
I run from guys when they begin to show me that they care
And I run from people when they get to close.
I don’t like feeling stuck.
There is something really freeing when I think of running.
There is something about running that entices me.
When things on my team have gotten hard, I have wanted to sprint in the opposite direction.
When things get rough and I get homesick, I would love to hop on the next plane home.
But the Lord has been forcing me to face these problems because I can’t escape community and I cant escape problems and conflict on the race.
Every month we pack up our bags, cross boarders, and settle in at a new ministry and every few months we switch teams up. I looked at these factors as something that is feeding and giving me more energy to run and flee from the things I don’t want to face.
These things are kinda contradicting when the Lord is trying to teach me not to run.
Or so I thought.
But, sometimes you have to learn to step back and look at the big picture.
Sometimes you just can’t see what the Lord is doing when you are in the midst of the chaos.
One of my favorite ways to step back and see God’s work is to picture God weaving a beautiful tapestry together with many different colored pieces. In the beginning we can only see what is behind the tapestry and usually what we can see are the knotted ends and frayed edges of what God is doing. Once we are out of the mess and the hardships we are able to see the other side of the tapestry. It is then that we can see that God was doing something beautiful through the painful circumstances and unclear directions.
After sitting with Jesus, I learned that I have changed and grown.
He showed me that I am still a runner, yes indeed, I’m still a runner.
But I’m now a runner that runs TO Jesus.
I am now a person that can look at a situation and know that running in the other direction sounds easy, but running to Jesus is so much better.
I am now willing to run in the midst of situations I don’t understand.
I now operate out of more peace and trust.
Its funny how the one thing that I have thought of as my biggest weaknesses for the longest time, has become one of my biggest victories on the race.
So yes, I’ve learned being a runner is a good thing after all.
I just have to make sure I’m running after the right things.
Instead of running for my life, I am choosing to run to the person who give me life.
So y’all keep running to Jesus.
Run the race he has you on.
