Who am I?
It's a question I've asked myself again and again.
If identity was defined by the place we're from, I'm not sure how I'd answer. Born in California, but raised in Singapore, Japan, and New Mexico, this Chinese-American girl faced a perpetual cultural identity crisis growing up. I once told someone I was "Half Chinese, Half Japanese, and Half American" and sincerely thought I was until that someone pointed out that I would therefore be one and a half people (in my defense, I was four years old at the time and fractions weren't quite my forte).
If identity was defined by what we do, then I could say I teach… I sing… I travel…I pray… I read…I talk…a lot…and I type fairly quickly, thanks to years of piano lessons… but then I'd also be defined by the mistakes I make, the words I speak without thinking, and the things I do that God has thankfully forgiven me for.
If identity was defined by what we believe, then I could say I believe in an almighty God, Creator of a vast universe beyond my comprehension, yet who is a loving Father who calls me His precious child and draws me into a righteous relationship with Him through His Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ. I believe in a Holy Spirit who dwells in my heart and guides each step that I take in life.
Yet, when I think about who I am, I have to be honest and say I think I'm much more than just what I do, or where I'm from. I'm even more than merely what I believe.
I Corinthians 13:12 says it well: "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then [in eternity] we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."
I know part of who I am… I'm Emily Chikondi Chan, a cultural mess, perhaps, but a Daughter of the Most High nonetheless, who has been called to serve the nations… But despite who I think I am, I believe God knows me fully, for He created my inmost being and knows every part.
I believe that He has called me to the World Race in August 2011 as one of the ways He is going to show me more of who I am… of who He has created me to be. I am excited to follow my Jesus to the ends of the earth, to serve Him with all that I am and all that He has given me to serve Him with… and I believe that as I walk with Him, He will "Search me…and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts…see if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting…" where I will one day know who I am as He already knows me. (Psalm 139)
