I have often heard my brother say that “Change is the only constant.” The older I get (I hit the big 3-0 next week!), the more I realize the truth in that statement. We are in a constant state of flux. Small and big moments alike can have a profound impact on our lives; sometimes we realize their impact immediately, while other times it takes us years to realize the significance of those moments.
As we enter into our final eight weeks of the World Race, I realize that change has been all the more constant during this 11-month journey. We have moved from country to country, ministry to ministry, and contact to contact. We have seen the world…quite literally… and experienced everything from outdoor squatty-potties and fried rat bugs to hot showers and gourmet three-course meals. We have met people who have inspired us by their stories, and we have seen heart-breaking circumstances where God’s presence was so desperately needed.
In the face of such constant change (oxymoron that it is), I’ve begun to realize how much more difficult it will be to fit back in to life in the United States when I return. In some ways, I feel like a puzzle piece that has been removed from the bigger picture, chewed up by the dog, sent through the washing machine a few times, and then worn out by the normal wear-and-tear that is life on the World Race. It boggles my mind to think about trying to fit back into the bigger picture, when I know my own picture and puzzle piece now look completely different.
I know that the picture in the United States has changed significantly, too. In the course of eleven months, I have missed three dear friends’ weddings, the birth of my cousin’s daughter, the engagement of one of my best guy friends, and countless other momentous occasions in the lives of my friends and family. Add to that the fact that I have lived out of the United States for nearly six years, and I know I have missed so much more. We have each changed in innumerable ways, though some more drastically than others, and the realization that it will not be easy to reconnect in the same way with certain friends has been absolutely heart-breaking to me.
How do you fit into “normalcy” when your life has been anything but “normal”?
I remember when we moved to the United States in 1999. I had never attended a public school before, much less one in a tiny little town where most kids’ parents had known each other since THEY were in high school. To make matters worse, I was a high school senior, and I knew I had exactly one school year to make connections that would likely cease once I left for college. I struggled on a daily basis to try to connect with people. My questions drove people crazy. No one could understand why this American accent-talking, Mexican-looking girl had no idea what the latest pop culture buzz was, nor why she kept talking about her experiences in a faraway country that seemed so foreign to their local microcosm.
I faced a rude awakening then, realizing that in the grand scheme of things, people couldn’t really relate to my experiences. Truth be told, they had grown tired of trying to feign interest whenever I spouted off something about my life overseas. I can hardly blame them, but it still hurt. Ultimately, I knew it was either “sink or swim,” so I tried my best to wade through that year before heading on to university life in California, where I had to begin the adjustment process all over again.
Now, twelve years later, I face the same conundrum. How do I reconcile the changes that have taken place in my life on the World Race, and during five years overseas, with the changes that have taken place at home? My family members each have their own daily routine, and while I know they are eager to welcome me home, after the first few weeks of swapping stories I am sure we are going to have to figure out how to adjust our lives to fit one another back in.
I say all of this not to complain, nor to lament, but merely to process for myself what the transition ahead might entail, and the months to come thereafter. God has yet to reveal to me what I’m doing after the World Race, and while that can be a bit scary, I have full confidence that the same Faithful One who has walked me through so many changes up until now will continue to walk me through whatever is ahead.
My beloved friends and family, whatever changes we have each been through, I pray we can somehow work together to find patience and grace for one another when we do meet again. I pray that Jesus will be our common ground, and that we can bear with one another in Love as we celebrate what He has done in each of our lives. In two months, I will come home expecting nothing except the hope of seeing each of you again. Thank you for your love and prayers throughout this journey of change. Know that you have had, and will continue to have, my prayers as well.
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
II Corinthians 3:18
