Our time in Myanmar and month 6 is coming to an end and I wish that I had good news to report about how I grew so much in my relationship with the Lord and how I learned so much and that my days were filled with joy. Unfortunately, life is unfair and its REALLY unfair. As a child we hear this often from our parents in the form of “ because I said so” and it hurts. Things do not work out always and we don’t get what we want often but our parents always knew the reason why we had to hear no. This month I have struggled and I have asked the Lord so many times why I could not have this thing or why this situation did not work out and I had a moment of flashback to hearing that phrase as a child and knowing that my heavenly father is now telling me the same thing… “because I said so” and I’m crushed. I have sat back and evaluated what is even going on and why I’m walking through so many things all at once and maybe some month soon I will see the fruit that is to come of my Father telling me “ because I told you so.” I will look back and see His hand at work through all of this and all I can do is trust Him.
I can not explain why my best friend has chosen to stop speaking to me, why I cannot shake the terrible feeling of homesickness, and why other relationships that I heavily value are struggling at home. God is taking one thing away from me after another and is that to make me cling close to him? Am I walking alone in the desert for 40 days with only Him as my support? I have no clue what I’m doing right now on the race but I know that I am purely at the authority of my Father and His will, beyond that I am powerless.
In total this time has not been without joy. While walking through trial after trial after trial we have found abundant blessings in our hosts this month and how much of a rock solid friendship we have built. The meals that we have shared and sleepovers that are filled with laughter have filled me up and allowed me to continue walking through this month and this country that has been amazing for us. I also do not really know the purpose of this blog other than to be real in saying that the pictures and posts that you see on Instagram or Facebook are not always telling the whole truth. The joy in those moments and the cool things that we get to do or see is what we want to share sometimes the things that are going on behind the scenes are what we need to share to make a real impact. The world race is hard and everyday is different, I promise it is not all beaches and adventure days.
Thanks for reading and if you’ve made it this far I am only 3,000 dollars away from being fully funded and I need it ASAP. If you have anything to give I would feel so blessed by that. All donations are tax deductible and help me stay on the field for the last 5 months. Just click the donate button!
Stay blessed,
Em
