I can teach it in a box. I can teach it with a fox. I can teach it in a tree. I can teach it to a bee. I can teach it on the carpet. I can even teach it in an African supermarket.
The Lord knows my passions far better than I think I do.
This first month has felt a lot like diving off a cliff without knowing what’s at the bottom. It’s too dark to see if there are rocks and too loud to hear if there are raging waters. My mind has been a freight train and each car is filled with a thousand anxious thoughts. I know it’s never going to be any lighter, clearer or quieter until I jump from the freight train atop that proverbial cliff. If I never jump I will only be caught riding in circles just over the edge.
The freefall has been much longer than I thought it would be. I’m still falling and I can still hear that freight train screaming. So, I have spent most of my time praying for the Lord to catch me in midair so that I can simply stop falling for a moment and catch my breath before I hit the bottom. He has most certainly done that and so much more for me in the midst of so much emotional and spiritual confusion and discomfort. As soon as I feel too disoriented to do this any longer He has granted me respite.
The first moment he gave me was exactly what I’ve always wanted for my birthday: A note that says ‘I love you.’ That’s all I’ve ever wanted, nothing fancy just simply knowing that I am accepted and loved. Their kind gesture meant more to me than they can know. I have read through their list 23 things they love about me many times over, to remind myself that I can trust my squad to love me well.
The second moment was something I never thought I would love so much… an African dance party. I have always made it known that I do not like to dance, especially not when people are watching but now I see the beauty of movement. Every culture and every nation can understand the language of dance. As I moved along with dozens of people who don’t speak the same language as me I knew that this was where I was meant to be. It was as though we had all collectively come to an understanding that the joy of the Lord would reign over that place no matter the circumstances.
The final moment of rest that the Lord has given me is my favorite one so far. A French-speaking Ivorian man found out that I was a teacher and that I have taught English to speakers of other languages in the past. When he heard, his eyes grew wide and he incessantly expressed to me his desire to learn to converse with people in English. He wants to know so that he can reach people in the English-speaking parts of Africa for God’s glory. I am honored to be a part of his desire to minister to others. My number one passion is to empower people to accomplish their dreams through education and expression. Thus, with the utmost joy, in the middle of a supermarket in Abidjan, Cote D’ivoire I began to teach that man all that I knew how. I don’t have all the tools I normally would use but I am making it my goal this month to empower this man to minister to anyone God puts on his heart, English and French-speaking alike.
Through all the noise and all the darkness, God has given me sparks of light and moments of quiet. I pray that as you read this, you will ask the Lord where in your life you need to take a leap, not knowing how long the free fall will take, trusting that he will allow you moments to take a break. It is in those moments that we discover our passions and it is in those moments that we know we are doing exactly what we were born to do.
FUNdraising update:
Praise God you guys have been faithful to get me so far! I still have about $2,000 to raise before the end of November to stay on the field and keep discovering my passions. If you feel led to give I may be able to send you a thank you note from another country! Missing you guys!
