Happy New Year!
2012? How did that happen? Life on the Race consists of long days and short weeks, resulting in much confusion over days and dates. Throw in a completely different climate and culture without the typical changing of seasons and one can be thoroughly turned around. Sometimes I have to remind myself of my name…
Well, it’s not that bad but I often find myself asking a teammate what day it is. The holidays have stirred up a lot of conversation about time; Christmas Eve marked the halfway point in this journey and New Years always brings about talk of change. Overall, we’ve done a lot of reflecting on this past year and have begun to turn our attention to what is before us.
Half empty or half full; half over or half yet to live- these are two possible perspectives when processing where I’m at right now on the Race. I’ve enjoyed the first half of the journey but I’m looking expectantly toward the second half.
For a completely raw look at what I was pondering on New Years Day, here’s an excerpt from my journal:
“Well, it’s “next year” though it doesn’t really feel like it (hasn’t internalized).
I’m going to turn 26 this year.
It’s my first New Years in 7 years that I’m not at TCX (Crusade Christmas Conference).
I still have half of the Race left.
I’m doing okay but I desire more.
What if…
I only read the Bible?
I stopped focusing on what I don’t have and give thanks for what I do have?
I prayed expectantly?
I stopped looking ahead to the “next thing” or behind at what I did or didn’t do and was PRESENT in the present?
I fully trusted God with the details of my life- job, relationships, housing, mission?
I could have a conversation with my family about Jesus that wasn’t awkward.
I confronted my fears and doubts?
I learned to love people for who they are, even if it’s difficult?
I meet my husband this year?”
There you have it, a small glimpse into my brain on the first day of a new year. Later in the morning, we piled into the back of a pickup truck and headed to Hillsong Church with some of the kids from the township. The message was entitled “Blessed Assurance.”
The sermon was taken from Psalm 103 where it challenges us to daily remind ourselves of God’s promises.
He has forgiven us. He heals all our diseases. He redeems us from destruction. He crowns us with loving-kindness. He renews our youth like an eagle.
Before the pastor closed the service, he declared God’s favor upon us. God is for us, not against us. He wants to bless His creation. He’s in a good mood. He wants us to pray BIG prayers and believe they can happen.
It made me think of the “what if” game I had played earlier in my journal. I realized I mentally sell God and myself short of what could happen; I automatically categorize prayers or desires into Certain to Happen, Maybe Stands a Chance, or Never Going to Happen. I think I might even have a That’s Silly, Why Did You Ask? category.
So, I’ve decided to lose the categories in 2012.
I’m going to start praying expecting that God can and will answer my prayers.
I believe I can be fully content with what God has given me, not needing more or less.
I’m even going to start believing the man God has for me is alive, well and going to pursue me…instead of thinking that will happen “some day” but not any time soon.
The next 5 ½ months are gunna be good. No, I think they’re going to be great. 2012 is going to be great. The end of the Race is just the beginning of the rest of my life and I still have half of the Race to run.
What about you? Are you suffering from “Category-itis?” Are you believing big things for 2012? I’m curious to know some of your “What ifs…”
