I wrote a blog to my squad about eight months ago, describing how fearless we all were; about how we were strong and determined. We were Dauntless. Well now I feel called to write another. It’s a little difficult because I’m on a bus right now and I get crazy motion sickness. But this is urgent. So please take the time to read it. D-Squad, this is for you.
I want you to know how proud of you I am. I’m proud of you for hanging on; hanging on for dear life. This ride is not easy. This journey is one of the hardest things I’m sure most of us have ever done. We’ve been jerked around and bumped about.
There’ve been weeks with only one shower.
We’ve had to wear the same pair of clothes for two or three days straight.
We’ve gone to the bathroom in “squatty-potties” and outhouses; in toilets that are backed up or have no toilet paper available.
We’ve withstood temperatures that cause us to become drenched in sweat
We’ve been to places where the dozens of flies refuse to stop landing on our faces.
We’ve lived in houses where that sewage smell just doesn’t seem to go away.
There have been nights when we can’t fall asleep because it’s just too hot to get comfortable.
Our legs are scared from bites caused by bugs we didn’t even know existed.
We’ve suffered Chikungunya, parasites, food poisoning and homesickness.
We’ve survived back to back plane rides, bus rides and layovers that last for days.
We’ve been forced to wait for minutes, even hours for unknown reasons. And then we’ve had to wait a little more.
We’ve gone weeks without internet and when it is available, it’s usually too slow to accomplish anything.
Each woman has been stared at, hissed at, called baby/angel or been proposed to more times on this trip than I’m sure we have in all our lives combined.
We’ve been scammed, robbed and mocked.
We’ve worked in areas that would normally be blocked with bio-hazard tape in the U.S.
We’ve experienced the frustration of language barriers and confused taxi drivers.
There’s been nights when the spiritual warfare is more than we’ve ever experienced.
There’s been days we’ve been too exhausted or burnt out to do ministry.
There’ve been times when we just didn’t feel like putting forth any effort because it doesn’t seem like we’re actually making a difference.
There’ve been months we just don’t feel like opening up or letting people in because we know in the end, we’ll just suffer the painful sting of another goodbye.
There’ve been days we’ve question God; what he’s doing or why he would ever allow such injustice to exist in the world.
There’ve been days when pressing on seems too painful: when the growth doesn’t seem worth the hurt of ripping off another band-aid.
I know this life is HARD! We’re made a choice to live in abandonment. Cold showers and warm drinking water have become the new norm. Flushing toilet paper feels unnatural and our “air conditioning” consists of tiny fans at the end of our beds. Our entire wardrobe for a year is in a single stuff-sack. Food is unusual and exercise is limited. But it’s worth it. The change is worth it; the change that’s happening in you; the change that’s happening in this squad and the change that’s happening in the lives we touch every day!
I know how difficult things are getting as we enter this holiday season. Homesickness creeps in and we begin to wonder if we’d be better off at home in the comfort of those we love. But I beg you to stay just as strong as you were that first day of training camp! Please don’t underestimate your importance on this squad! You have a voice. You are valuable. You are funny. You are wise. You are nurturing. You have a perspective on life that God has only gifted you with. When I look at you, I see a brother; I see a sister I can’t imagine this journey without. So when you feel like giving up: when times seem too hard to bear for just one more day, keep pressing on. I’ve seen you come further than you think you have. You’ve grown more than you can comprehend and I’ve enjoyed watching you become more like Jesus. I’ve enjoyed seeing your happiness. I’ve enjoyed seeing your freedom. I’ve enjoyed seeing your faith. I’ve enjoyed seeing your heart. Know that you are loved. Deeply. By our Father, by me and by the rest of our squad. We’re meant to stay unified. We’re meant to stay Dauntless.
