I realize it’s been way too long since I blogged about anything. My first entry was my only entry. There are several reasons for this, although “excuses” may be a better word. My first excuse is that I did not have a computer for almost the entire month of November. My second and most primary reason is my feeling of unworthiness. I’m one 25 year old woman who struggles with her faith on a regular basis. I don’t have it all together and am very opposed to pretending like I do. I often find myself wondering what I could possibly write about that people would actually want to read. I journal all the time; I pour my heart onto paper daily. But that’s different. This is public. My vulnerability is exposed for the entire world to see and for some reason, I feel like I have to impress people. What if my deepest thoughts aren’t good enough? What if they don’t have enough insight, intelligence, or creativity? What if I offend people? I have this mentality that if people are willing to support me, I better give them something worth reading! The problem is that anything I have to say that’s even remotely thought provoking has already been said by my squad mates, Christian authors, song writers and sometimes even Hallmark cards! Nothing seems original anymore and it’s really overwhelming to sit down and write a blog entry when the only thing I have to bring to the table is repeated Christian clichés.
Well recently I’ve come to a couple realizations. My supporters aren’t sponsoring me so they can read killer blog entries. They’re standing beside me, helping me advance God’s kingdom as the warrior I was made to be; showing his love to those who have never before felt it. They’re generously giving so that I can reach people across the world with my unique heart. My blog entries shouldn’t be what make them rejoice or regret supporting me. My writing should merely reflect the impact God is making in my life and the lives of those around me. This brings me to my next realization. God made my heart different than anyone else’s. No two souls are exactly the same. Even though what I have to say may have already been said, it hasn’t been said by me, and that is what makes it unique. Originality doesn’t come from content, but the heart behind that content. I want my blog to reveal Jesus through the unique spirit he has given me.
From now on, my entries will be more numerous. I enjoy writing and I look forward to sharing my heart with you.
Secondly, I would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to all those people who have chosen to give towards my trip. I don’t have much to say here because words could not possibly express how much your support means to me. Just know that I am truly grateful for your generosity!
Until next time (soon),
Emily
