I have been in the States for about three weeks and honestly, it has been incredibly bitter sweet. So what has life been like? Whats happening in this season?
To start I spent my first full day in Houston staying with some friends who had also just finished the race. I am forever grateful for those twenty four hours because I honestly couldn’t imagine snuggling in bed with anyone else thinking “wow this carpets real soft and it is making me overwhelmed”. After that I came back to Laramie where very quickly I celebrated the marriage of two of my closest friends. It was slightly overwhelming seeing everyone but wonderful at the same time. It filled my heart to see two wonderful people start their lives together. It was good for all of us to be together for the first time in years. I felt overwhelmed by love. Seeing all sorts of family and friends lead to snuggles, happy tears, laughter and more “I am so glad you’re back safe” than I ever thought. Coming home I was, and still am, afraid of just feeling lonely. At the wedding I was slow dancing with a pal from high school and he said the most comforting thing I have heard in three weeks. He said “I hope you know they are so excited you’re back. They missed you a lot and they love you even more.”
Soon after the wedding and celebrating the USA I embarked on the road trip of a life time. Two of my sweet friends from the race and I drove from Colorado to California and back. In all the awesome days there was a lot of good music (shout of to Noah and the Whale), laughter, national parks and visitations of loads of race friends and the meeting of some new ones. It was well needed and honestly Jesus blessed our conversations, the people we met and stayed with and the travel. So good, and something I would never change.
I am back in Laramie now and life is, well life. Bitter sweet. The reality of the race being over has really hit. With that there are a few emotions. To be honest I barely even know what they are. There are days being home is so exciting and I feel on top of the world. I am happy to snuggle my dog and listen to pod casts and use my blender. Gahhhh, all the goodness. There are days, like yesterday, where I catch myself sad, confused and feeling lonely potentially crying in a parking lot. It is in those moments where I am yet to figure out what to do with myself. By not being able to really recognize what I am feeling I have not been able to actively convey and express what I need from other people. It is hard but part of growing and to the process.I am trying to learn, you know? Being patient with that process is hard and I hope rewarding some day soon. I don’t know what the future holds and I am trying hard to find peace in that. I am trying hard to take my time, take a breath and spend time with Jesus- even though they are pressing sometimes.
I have been drinking massive cups of tea in this time to help unwind and enjoy this life and call of obedience that the Lord has called me too, even when I am currently struggling to see the Lords will. Life is still wonderful even though the emotions and readjustment are a bit crazy.
I don’t anticipate writing on the blog anymore but if you’re curious-the race was a huge gift from the Lord. The most difficult, rewarding, enjoyable, game changing adventure thus far in my life. I am forever thankful. Cheers to new seasons, the closing of old chapters but a life filled with new stories, friends and a more intimate relationship with the Lord.
