Dear Mom,
I went on a bike ride today through the Cambodian countryside. It reminded all too well of that summer we rented bikes at the beach, and how we chased the sunlight through the moss laden trees, panting between the giggles. Do you remember the freedom we felt on those bikes, and the sweet warmth of the summer sun hitting our backs? I’ve found that once again here in Cambodia. As children run up from beneath the shade of mango tree to shout hello, I couldn’t help but indulge in the sweetness of the moment. More and more I’m savoring each moment here on the field.
I’m bathing with murky water from a nearby pond; the very same pond that the cows and pigs bath in, but ah so is village life. My skin itches from the endless array of bugs that feast on it during the night. I’m in a constant state of dampness, forever being drenched in the beads of sweat that fall endlessly down with the intensity of the warm sun. It’s hot here. Really hot. Hotter than those Georgia summers, the luxuries of the cool burst of air conditioning taken for granted, among many other things.
I live in an animal farm, a zoo. We have ducks here. And chickens. And cows. And dogs, mangy, ugly nasty dogs. The kind that flicks their vast collection of flees upon you with one single swat and wag of their dirt covered tails.
But I like it. I like it a lot. It’s the unexplainable Mother that I like so very much. I love falling asleep underneath the shade of mango tree, only to be woken up to the giggles of a toothless grinned child, her brown eyes locking with mine. I indulge in these moments, when a smile sends a thousand pulsating words through my body. I savor the moments where I get lost in the silliness that surrounds me. The rhythmic thuds of the volleyball beating around on the court as I get to indulge in a good read.
It’s not easy. I find I’m not the teacher you are. My giftings are more in the doing than the teaching. And many days I have to beg the Lord to give me the strength to even wake up out of bed. But it’s something about their faces, their deep, dark eyes, their smiles that lures me in like a bad drug, I’m hooked. I actually crave their presence Mother. I’m thirsty for it. Do you think that’s how the Lord feels about us? Do you think He craves our laughter and our giggles the way I do these children?
With each day that passes on, each setting sun, I sigh a little thinking it’s one day closer until I’m home with you. Although I desire so much to be cuddled up with you on that worn leather couch indulging in an afternoon of TV, I find the itch to continue life this way to be stronger than ever. And I know it’s okay. I know I wasn’t meant to be settled; otherwise these stirrings wouldn’t be as strong.
So send my wishes to my furry love, and hug Dad for me. I want nothing more than to make you each so proud, but I know before my fingers press send you already are.
Love,
Em
(Photos taken by the uber talented Jessica Gasperin)
