You know, it was good enough to get me to all-state choir throughout high school, and into college honor choir. So yeah. That’s a thing.
If you know me well, you already knew that. Buuuut if you don’t know me well, then you probably had no clue…because I hate telling people. If I tell people that means I have an obligation to get up in front of people and sing when needed. And again, if you know me well, I HATE THAT. I hate being the center of attention. I hate being open to criticism and scrutiny. I hate standing in front of people showing them something that I’m proud of, with the possibility of them saying “wow that was the worst.”
The thought of singing in front of people truly made me want to faint, or barf, or hide under a rock. I would never, ever, ever speak up if my youth or college groups needed a singer. Even when people sought me out to lead, I would ONLY sing backups or harmony. I would never lead. I seriously can’t emphasize enough how aggressively I would run from being on stage.
But for some reason, I haven’t felt that way on the race. The Lord is slowly but surely cracking open my fear and bringing light to it. He’s been showing me who I am in HIM, not in who the world expects me to be. So honestly, I feel free to sing. I still get nervous and forget the words, don’t get me wrong. But even if I mess up, or my voice cracks, or I don’t know the words or language that I’m singing…I know God’s got me, and because of that my fear is gone.
Worship at the homeless service at Ciudad de Refugio.
Worship for the youth service at Isaiah 61 Ministries.
Using your gift isn’t always fun. It isn’t always received well, either. Sometimes it’s just an act of obedience. Point blank. But I feel like with each small step in faith the Lord says, “well done, good and faithful servant.” It’s hard stepping out into the crossfire with the possibility of being hit hard, but you do it anyways because it’s worth it for the Kingdom.
