I have been home for one month now trying to figure out life back in the States. I expected at some point to have a major “culture shock” breakdown like in the grocery isle when I saw boneless chicken breast or when I saw a cute little kid, or when I was alone for 20 minutes, but that hasn’t really happened. It took me about two weeks to stop throwing my toilet paper in the garbage, but other than that life has been good. I think it has been nice to come back to the holiday season. People are mostly cheerful and willing to take me out for lots of free coffee and meals. I love it! I think I have been caught up in the comforts of American life and the excitement of this season. I’m trying just to let myself feel emotions as they come and not force or hold back anything. At the same time, it’s really interesting being home. Things seem mostly the same – the same people greet me at Meijer, the same cashiers work at Target, the same people sit in the same pews at church, – so it feels like I’ve been here all along, but then I notice people have babies who didn’t when I left, people have passed away and are no longer there, and I somehow have all these memories and experiences that nobody else knows. Its then that I realize, it definitely wasn’t a dream. It’s hard to articulate how I feel about this year. I kept putting this blog off because I thought maybe tomorrow or maybe next week, I’ll have more insight. Many people have asked, “How was your year?” And I find myself opening my mouth with no words coming out as I don’t even know where to begin, hoping they will be more specific with their questioning. Then, I get asked a simple, easy question like “What was your favorite country?” and find myself drawing a blank as my mind is bombarded with stories, faces, feelings, etc of all the memories from this year that are somehow jammed packed in my head. How do I even begin to process what I saw, what I felt, what I ate, how I changed? I’ve begun to work through my journal, tell LOTS of stories to my family, sort through my pictures, stay in contact with World Race friends, and it all seems to help a little, but how do you really put this year into words? Amazing? Challenging? The best? Hard? Overwhelming? Stretching? Fun? It’s everything! I think I experienced every emotion one can feel this year! Even though I’m still processing and will continue to process through this year, I know without a doubt that this was God’s plan for my life at this time. I feel extremely blessed to have been given this opportunity! I know that through this trip my mind and worldview have been shaped in a way that I cannot go back to who I was before. God has entrusted me with knowing more of who He is and more of His power and I am responsible for that. I have many ideas of what could possibly be next in my life, but don’t have any confirmation yet. I am at peace right now with my unknown future. I can’t wait to see where God leads me next! The 11-month adventure has ended, but the journey has just begun!
