Amongst the Silence

Isaiah 55: 8 says " For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 
Like most of us, I have heard and read this verse over and over throughout my life.  But I don't think I have ever taken that verse to heart.  The past few weeks have been emotionally draining, to say the least.  The Lord has moved in ways that are so evident, and other times it has seemed as though the Lord wasn't moving at all.  Just when it seemed as though the Lord was changing lives around me (people that I have prayed would come to know the Lord) it would all go downhill again.  Some many days I would ask, " Lord, where are you in this? Why aren't you moving? 

I went through a time where it seemed as though the Lord was silent.  I would pray every morning that the Lord would use someone or something to speak to me.  I so desperately wanted to hear from my Father! Throughout each day I would try to listen for His voice.  About two weeks ago, I began discussing things with Jessi, one of my best friends.  I asked her if she ever went through times in her life where it seemed as though the Lord was silent.  I went on to tell her how I was so desperately wanting to hear the Lord's voice about different things in my life.  She said,  " Sometimes it's in the silence when God speaks to us the most." 

 I was starting to get discouraged and anxious because the money has not been coming in for the WR like I expected.  I prayed over each letter I sent out and it didn't seem as though people were responding.  I was traveling home last Sunday, and I randomly decided I would check to see if I had received any more donations.  I looked down the list, and saw a $1000 donation and a $200 donation that had recently been given.  In that moment, I knew the WR is exactly what the Lord has in store for me.  It's in those moments that the Lord reminds me of His power and sovereignty.  

As the week continued, I was in constant prayer for the Lord's voice and wisdom.  
This morning during church, the Lord did just that.  He spoke so loudly, as though He were yelling at me.  Bro. Gary spoke on the cross, but focused on what Jesus said on the cross. Matthew 27:46 " About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" (which means "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?").  He explained that Jesus was in such sorrow.  He had always been close to God. He had now been overwhelmed with silence.  The Father had not turned His back on His son.  He knew this had to be done. Bro. Gary told a story of his son needing stitches at the age of 16 months.  He had to watch them strap his son down and a lady lay over him so he couldn't move.  The whole time his son continued to say "Daddy, Daddy!" But there was nothing he could do.  His son had to get the stitches! All he could do was hold his son's hand.  He had not abandoned His son. He was right there with him the whole time.  The next statement spoke so loudly to me.  He said, " Silence is sometimes agonizing when you so desperately want to hear." 

It was in that moment that the Lord spoke the words I have been wanting to hear for so long. " Emilee, I am here with you ALWAYS.  Even when your world seems turned upside down, I am with you.  Things have to happen in order for my glory to be revealed.  I see your pain and suffering. Trust me when I say that your ways are not my ways. "