About a month into her race Emalea asked her Dad (Jim) and I to write a guest blog from a parent’s perspective. I was excited to do that for her and started it a couple times but just couldn’t seem to get onto paper what I wanted to say…or maybe, I couldn’t express what was going on inside of me. It’s been almost five months now since Em left for Honduras and one blog is certainly not enough to cover those five months of my journey.
I am so thankful for this World Race parent journey. It started just over a year ago when Em discovered the World Race by accident. She was so excited, and so was I when she first told me about it…then she told me the cost. I could not imagine how she, we, anyone we knew could come up with that much money. I told people that if this is where God wanted her to be, he would provide…but did I really believe that? I wanted to believe it, and part of me did but I REALLY struggled. I feel ‘weak’ even saying that, but I’m being honest. Here is the truth though…God does provide, and he did provide, and it stretched my faith, and caused me to grow and trust him more. It wasn’t just Emalea’s faith journey, it was mine too. But it’s not just about the money…
Jim and I were in Atlanta at parent launch in January. Adventures in Missions (World Race is part of this organization) does a really good job of preparing parents for not only the journey our kids are about to go on but also the journey we will go on. Parent launch is a two day event that does just that…prepares parents for the journey. Those few days were filled with so many emotions…excitement, joy, sadness, peace, love, and more. It was exhausting, but oh so beautiful. Friday evening of that event was an evening that will forever be etched in my memory. We had worship, teaching and prayer together with our kids. The leadership talked a lot about this not just being a journey for our kids but for us as parents as well. God will do great things in our lives too, if we allow him. These words were life to us at that time. During our prayer time with Emalea, she prayed that over the next 11 months God would REVOLUTIONIZE our lives. That’s a huge prayer. God is a big God. And God is answering her prayer. Reflecting back, I guess I was in a season of settling…coasting maybe. I was content with the things I was doing for God, thinking that perhaps it was enough. But I really came away from those few days with a strong sense that God was not finished with me yet. I can’t settle for just being comfortable. I came home from that experience with a renewed sense of excitement for what God was doing and will do.
Even though lots of things have happened since those few days in Atlanta… I feel in some ways that very little is happening. I’ve struggled through some things personally, and been impatient with the speed at which God is unfolding the things that he is speaking to us/me. Someone I sought support from said this to me, “I know it sounds cliche but God is the answer you are seeking. In the deep places with him is where it all gets fleshed out.” So I am learning to listen to him, not just talk to him. I am learning to allow him to work things out in the deep places of my heart, and not be afraid of that. I am learning that he really is the answer I am seeking. I am learning that even though I am in my fifties, have a lot of life experience, and have walked with God many years, I still have a lot to learn… and that’s OK. I am learning to ask different questions than the ones I had previously asked. I am learning to ask God which questions to ask. I am learning to trust him with my daughter on the Race…and my other kids too. I’m not the mom who worries about safety but I do worry about other things. The truth is though that God is in control of my kids journey, not me. God asks me to trust him, he wants me to trust him. So my lifelong journey of trust continues in this ‘World Race parent’ season of my life. For this I am thankful. I am letting Him REVOLUTIONIZE my life…and that starts in the deep places of my heart.
So Emalea, thank you for your obedience to God in pursuing the World Race. Your obedience is revolutionizing my life and I am sure it is revolutionizing your life too.
