I recently returned home from the venture of TRAINING CAMP, let’s just say that this week was not what I was necessarily expecting, but a ZILLION TIMES better. I did not go to this mysterious destination expecting to be changed. I did not go there expecting to be placed on an all girls team. I did not go expecting to fall in love with a squad or a team I have only known for a week. But all of this happened because I serve a God who desperately wants less of me and more of Him, so that requires some changes within.
The first of many changes that happened to me a Training Camp had to do with my ideals and how I allowed God to have motion in my life. I love to study the word of God. I love to debate theology. And I love to put the word of God into context. All of these things are wonderful in and of themselves, but I should of never of let my bible college training, Baptist background, or personal viewpoints take hold of me to build up barriers of ways that God is only allowed to move in my life. All of this changed for me at training camp- and I am glad to say that God can move in me however He delights because I do not want to hold the reins anymore.
One night this realization came to me during a worship service. There were people laughing, people crying, people speaking in tongues, and there I was scared out of my mind, so scared that I began to cry. It was then that a girl from my squad came up to me and asked if we could move away from the crowd and just pray. I explained to her that I was not used to this Charismatic movement, but I also told her that I was too afraid for God to move in a way that I was not used too. It hit me then that I was not being very Biblical minded. I had been with these people for a week and seen their love for the Lord and His word, seen crazy things happen that I had never seen before, and now I was seeing people with unhindered worship and I was afraid- WHAT is wrong WITH ME???? We prayed for God to break down my fear and barriers and then my new friend wanted to back away so she could pray for me and I could be alone with God. Just then I really began to sob uncontrollably for I was in amazement by God’s love. All of a sudden my hands went crazy! I looked down at them and they were shaking uncontrollably. I tried making them stop but I couldn’t physically make that happen. I felt like my arms were having a seizure while the rest of my body was detached. It was the weirdest experience I had ever had physically. Then it stopped. The hands went back to normal, tears stopped flowing out of my eyes, and I felt so calm and peaceful. What the heck just happened? Well let’s just say God knew I needed to experience Him in a new way. Later on that night I found out that my friend was praying for God to allow me to experience Him through my hands! Woah, He is sooo cool!
So that is the beginning of my barrier breakdown. God does not want me to just experience Him through what I have been taught, debate, and read. Sometimes He just wants me to let go of my fears and have a new experience of however His spirit wants to move. I do not regret what I have been taught at my church or Bible college- for I have seen God move in amazing ways there, but starting now I will not limit God on how He moves in my life or doubt what I see Him doing in the lives of others.
