Thirteen days ago while at work, I received a call.
My dad was on the other end of the line and sounded worried.
His question: "Have you heard from your mom?"
After talking to him for several minutes I found out that mom had felt sick and went to the ER.
It hit me like a ton of bricks…
(Last year, around the same time my mother had been diagnosed with cancer. In January after several months of chemo, she had been declared cancer free.)
Why?…
For a brief second I lost all control. My mind thinking of the worst possible scenario.
Then, tranquility. Something said: "Slow down"
I listened.
I gathered my things and left to our main hospital and found her in one of the ER rooms, sitting on the patient chair already hooked up to a machine.
(My mother had to receive several blood transfusions, had to have surgery and now is once again receiving chemotherapy.)
Why?!…
I cried out to God. Asking why?!
I thought this was over with. I thought she was better…
(Two days ago while talking to a friend, the answer fell on me like a rainstorm. I was explaining to her why I wasn't there the day she went to visit my mother in the hospital. Why I was at church finishing the backdrop for easter Sunday [it came out great btw])
"How could me not physically being there question how much I love or care about her? I'm with her when she's healthy at home. I mean, I help her with the dishes, cleaning up around the house, with my brothers… And yes, I am also there when she's not doing so well. I Love her and trust that she will be okay. What good will it do if I only show up and stay by her side when she's sick?"
What good will it do…
If GOD
only comes when we are sick?
And who am I?
Who am I to question why?
HE is with us, during laughter and joy. When in health. Helping us daily with our dirty dishes and our families. And he will always be with us during hard times. When our health isn't doing so well.
Even if we don't see it.
HIS LOVE is always there.
Still.. even with all of the great things HE does for us, we question HIM and HIS Love for us… constantly blaming him for all of our mishaps, when truly we should be thanking him for our good fortune, life, love, and salvation.
