Vulnerable –
I am just going to be very vulnerable and share what happened to me while at debrief. One evening we had a session on vulnerability. It was a session well explained by our mentor Grace. She was very vulnerable with her life and invited us in the space to express it too. I didn’t say anything as of all the lies I was believing. That evening I came back to our Hostile and I told God I know there are many more lies that I’m believing about myself that are not revealed yet. I was very exhausted that evening so I went to bed and asked God to refresh me in the morning. God did, that morning I spent my quiet time asking God to reveal all the lies that I’m believing and I did and then I asked the question why to identify where they are coming from. Then I asked God of what I should do about this, he told me to take it to my team and let them help me process and identify all of them. So I did, I told them my thoughts and and what I was struggling with. As I was sharing with them they wrote down all the lies I was believing, while they were telling me I wrote them all down. So after that with the help of my teammates I wrote down all the truths to the lies that I was believing. After that my teammates prayed over me. Then I burned the paper as a symbol that those lies have no power over me. God is my refuge and strength.
So I will share the lies and truths with you.
The lies…
I am not being fluent with my words.
I am an attention seeker.
Emotions are not meant to be shared they are a sign of weakness.
I am boastful.
People will twist my words when I open up to them.
I should fear a group of leaders as they want to condemn.
My words and testimony are worth less than others.
I am not worth acts of service, love, time and kindness.
I can’t be weak around brothers and sisters as they will not love me when I’m open.
Space that I take up pushes out others from having space.
My words are fuel for other peoples fire against me.
People will turn their backs on me and show that they do not care.
No one will listen when I speak as my story/words do not have value.
People do not wish to serve me genuinely.
The only one who can get glory from me speaking is me, I can’t use of being the subject of peoples attention to glorify God.
It matters how eloquently I say things because imperfect speech deludes truth.
A single action like crying determines my character.
THE TRUTHS!!
I felt my burdens lifted knowing that conflict can be an expression of love.
Crying is not weakness, which is a doorway for God to be strong.
No one here wants to leave me, but support me and build me into the true likeness of who God created me to be.
People do care about what I feel and say.
The church wasn’t called to be brinkers of pain but truth, love and mercy.
I don’t take any ones time and opportunities.
People’s motives are not in my control.
Serving me is a blessing and a privilege, because I serve others so well and with love.
I am being fluent with my words.
I am not an attention seeker.
I am a model of humility.
I will not fear to be open to people, being open is freeing.
People will actively and reflectively listen to what I have to say.
I fear God and honor the leaders. 1 Peter2:17
My words and testimony are valuable.
I am worth acts of service, love, time, and kindness.
Brothers and sisters love me with the love of God.
God will never turn his back against me. Dt. 3:22
My story does glorify God.
Imperfect speech does not delude truth.
The story that I say is truth. It doesn’t matter how I say it. Ex. 4:10-12
A single action like crying does not determine my character.
Serving me is not a burden and me asking for help is not a burden.
It is freeing to identify the lies and renounce them and claim the truth over them.
I hope this will help whoever is struggling with the same thing. You can overcome with the truths. God is Truth.
Debrief has been so good to me. Staying in focus of what we are doing and relaxing our bodies to get ready for our next country… Haiti!
Please pray for…
us as a team to stay open and to see one another.
the people we encounter to receive christ well
us to stay healthy that it sickness would not hinder us from our ministry.
Thanks so much for praying! Blessings!
