Cleansing and refining
Sometimes ministry looks different then what you planned on it to be. Perhaps today was one of those days.
I’m waking up to the sounds of vehicles passing by. Peeking out the window to see if it is light enough outside to see the ocean. ( one of my usual morning highlights)
Sitting in the presence of God and listening to him. Reading in Mark 10:35-37 where the sons of Zebedee, James, and John came to Jesus saying “when you sit on your glorious throne, we want to sit in places of honor right next to you, one on your right and the other on your left”. Instantly I thought I would not of asked that because there are others who want to be close to him too. God answered my question that I had asked him earlier.
My question was “God are there ways that I offend you??” God says, “there is the one thing in which you do offend me. Daughter I desire you so much, but you come only so far. I wanting a deep relationship with you that you would dare ask me questions like that”.
In that moment, I caught a glimpse of what my fellow brother had shared with me of what God shared with him about me not receiving love well.
So continuing my morning, I took a prayer walk with my team leader Katie. ( we started doing a half hour prayer walk each morning up to the city) It is so refreshing in many ways. This morning coming back as Katie was praying I heard God say “today just sit with me”. My response was, “ok I would love to but what about ministry I will miss out on all of that.?” God leaves us with choices to choose from. Today I chose to go against my negative thoughts and I simply sat in His presence. This was my ministry for today, as if I am not fed from God how can I care for or give to other people. It was so refreshing, cleansing and refining. God took me to the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Here are a few verses that spoke loudly to me.
Luke 19:20-21,19:26, Master I hid your money and kept it safe. I was afraid because you are a hard man to deal with.
( How often do I say no because I am afraid or think it is to hard??)
To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given. But for those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.
( How well do I give of what I have been given??)
John 12:35 My light will shine for you just a little longer. Walk in the light while you can, so the darkness will not overtake you.
John 12:36 Put your trust in the light while there is still time; then you will become children of light.
( How well am I displaying Gods light??)
Mark 11:23 I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain may you be lifted up and thrown into the sea and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything and if you believe you have received it, it will be yours. But when you are praying first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your father in heaven will forgive your sins too.
Daily we need to cleanse at the foot of the cross so Jesus can work in and through us. So just soaking up all that God has for me, I was given this inspiration from my friend that just truly describes what I’m going through right now. “ The best response to losses or thwarted hopes is praise: the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Remember that all good things- your family and friends your health and abilities, your time- are gifts from me. Instead of feeling entitled to all these blessings. Respond to let go of anything I take from you, but never let go of My Hand.
I am His- A daughter of the King.
