Before I get into why I’m going let me explain what I will be doing. I’m leaving September 2018 for nine months; I will be living in Thailand, Malaysia, Guatemala and Swaziland. Where in each country and what I’ll be doing varies. We could be doing anything from construction, helping trafficked woman and children, VBS, preaching, living in an orphanage, street evangelism, and going to a remote village to working in coffee shop.
I will be in a “squad” made up of 55 18 to 20 year olds who will travel with me to each country. We will then be split up in to teams of 5-10 people and spread across the country to do ministry partnering with missionaries and organizations.
There is a 10 day intensive training camp in July where I get to meet all the cool peeps I’m spending nine months with, eat authentic food (yay, crickets), take bucket shower, live in my tent, hike and practice living out of my back pack, and learn about the cultures I’ll be submerged in.
So why on earth am I doing it? Let me just explain. (Sorry you gonna have to read). Last year at this time I was freaking out about colleges: where to go what to do, majors and minors, SAT scores, visits, dorm rooms… all of that fun stuff. Nothing seemed to fit or scream my name like I thought it would.
I was frustrated with God, I didn’t even want to go to college that much. I just wanted to get a degree so I could move overseas, be a missionary, and help people in some way. But God wasn’t leading me anywhere, and I was mad– I was trying to do it for HIM to serve HIM. I was also worried that I would get a degree for missions and find out that it missions wasn’t something that was meant for me.
I started praying, really praying that God would open my eyes to the right college and career choice. No matter how much I prayed about it college just didn’t seem right for me. I just felt a burning desire to just go.
So, I began looking at gap year programs (a year between high school and college). Once again nothing really seemed to stick out to me until I found the World Race. Traveling to countries to serve for nine months?! Living out of a back pack! Being put out of my comfort zone! Serving the lowest of the low!
I knew right away it was for me.
Until I started thinking, really thinking… I’ve never even been camping before? Living out of a backpack? Not showering? Not seeing my family or friends for nine months? Almost $16,000? God, I’m game for a gap year, but something less terrifying, hard, and something that requires a lot less of me.
I kept looking for programs but nothing at all compared to the world race. I put my future on the back burner and said I would figure it out later, the prospect of committing to something like that scared the crap out of me.
As time went on the WR never left my mind and I began really considering it as an option. One of the biggest things I prayed about was that I could meet someone who was going on the World Race and I found out that one of the girls I had grown up with was going. And so I was like, okay, God I see you. But I want to meet someone who has been on the World Race. (I thought I had God fooled, I mean how likely was that?)
At summer camp there was a band member with this amazing tattoo and my shy, quite self-asked him about it, and as I’m sure you can guess, he got it in Vietnam, on (drum roll please) THE WORLD RACE!
Okay, so before I go on I want to clarify something, I really wanted to go on the World Race, but I also really didn’t want to because it was so terrifying and required so much faith (and money).
I had all of these fears: what if I got sick, how was I going to raise the money, I won’t speak their langue, what if I don’t get along with the people I’m with, what if I don’t have what it takes?
In turn God answered each of these, and all of the other “what if’s” I could think of.
Instead of seeking God’s will for my life and what the future held for me I began seeking God himself, which was completely new for me. By not worrying about my future, trusting that God was in control (and giving him control) he gave me a whole new perspective.He showed me time and time again that the WR was where he wanted me. I truly began to understand that God was in control and where he called me I had to go, because the safest, securest place to be is in the will of God. Who am I to resist what he wants?
I relented to the will of God applied for gap year. Through it all I prayed that if it was not what God wanted that I wouldn’t get accepted. I had a phone interview and after the interview I honestly didn’t think I would get in to the program–it was probably just a Abraham Isaac thing, I did what God had asked and now he would provide a goat– I got a call the next day (it was supposed to be 3-5 days) saying that I got in.
Next I had to make an initial deposit to secure my spot. I was freaking out, like majorly freaking out. God where’s my goat? This is too much, too scary. I asked him to give me a huge NO (and gave him a lot of opportunities to do so). Instead I got yes after yes.
While I couldn’t imagine not going on the incredible, difficult adventure I was petrified by the amount of money I had to rise and by how intense it was—there was no way that I could do it.
I made my deposit after going to a worship night that I wasn’t even supposed to be at. It was one of those indescribable things where God just speaks to you so clearly. There was a quote something along the lines of “we never see miracles anymore because we never put ourselves in a position where we need God to work one.”
It was exactly what I needed, a miracle. I went home and committed to going and am now trusting that God is going to provide the miracle that I need.
Now that I am going normally in one of two places: extreme peace that passes all understanding or the opposite, fighting suffocating anxiety, fear, and doubt. I know without a doubt that this is what God wants me to do but it just seems so HUGE to me. Missing so everything that has been normal to me for 17 years: Christmas, my brother’s games, the fall, yummy Starbucks drinks, birthdays, seeing my family… Even more I fear the unknown of the race; I have talked to several people and they say it is the best but hardest year of their life.
If you would pray about supporting me (one time or monthly) it would be greatly appreciated but if you would also pray that God prepares me for this trip and surrounds me with his peace, that would be amazing.
Thanks for reading,
Elli
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“‘For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?” Romans 10:13-14
