What is more terrifying, to believe the impossible or to believe in nothing at all?
One of the best things about my race has been hearing the voice of God. I hear it frequently and clearly… it’s a new norm that i have never experienced before.
It has also been one of the hardest things about my race. I never thought i would say the hardest thing would be hearing the voice of God—but sometimes he tells you the scary, hard things. Not just the beautiful things.
There is a woman, Ruth. Her husband is a pastor, she is the mother to five children, and she is dying of kidney failure.
Each Thursday my team goes and prays for her. We pray the bold things; for her pain to leave, for healing to come, for joy.
With each visit Ruth is more swollen. She could no longer leave her bed. And with each visit you could see her hope dwindling.
And I had a secret. I knew that she was going to die from the very first step i took into her room.
It was not something i heard from the Lord, at first, but something i felt. I told myself I was just scared of having the faith. I didn’t want to get let down, or lead Ruth’s family to getting their hopes up—that it was simply me being a scaredy cat not wanting to believe the impossible.
Then, after a training on healing, we went to Ruth’s house. Each person was praying the bold prayers. That she would have complete healing. That she would have no pain. That she would be able to walk.
In the midst of this my heart began to ache, it was the heaviest feeling i have ever felt. I knew she was going to die, that she was going to die before we left Guatemala.
I got a vision of God holding sweet, sick Ruth in his hands. He was singing peace and love and joy over her because she was dying. I felt an immense pain, i began to sob.
Why, Lord? I asked. And what the Lord said to me broke my heart, “Elli, i am SO excited for her to get to heaven, i cannot wait.”
You are now probably expecting me to say i prayed a wise, poetic prayer that instantly swayed Gods heart. But in reality, i just asked if there was anything I could do to change it.
He said no.
So i came home and i cried. My heart was broken for a woman that i hardly knew. i was frustrated with God, but
I was even more frustrated with myself.
For the next two weeks i tried to understand why.
We went back to Ruth’s house this Thursday, two weeks later. We walked in and something was different. i felt God saying his hand was lifted.
In typical Elli fashion i said “okay cool God, let’s talk about this later because I’m trying to translate here, duh.”
Fast forward and we were talking to Ruth and her husband, and i felt my heart begin to pound.
SHE WILL LIVE. It was like an electrical shock.
What? Stop talking to yourself Elli.
SHE WILL LIVE.
One of the leaders asked if we had anything to share.
SHE WILL LIVE.
I said i might i wasn’t sure if i was supposed to.
SHE WILL LIVE.
My heart beat faster.
SHE WILL LIVE.
I began to tell the story you just read.
SHE WILL LIVE.
I told a woman and her husband that The God of love desperately wanted her in heaven.
SHE WILL LIVE.
I then said that today, he told me something else. I said that today his hand had lifted. I said that from his hands where she was laying, he was instead standing her up and letting her walk out of his hands and on to the earth.
I told a dying woman she would live.
What is scarier— to believe the impossible or to believe in nothing at all?
We bagan to pray for Ruth believing that the impossible was possible because we have a God for whom nothing is impossible.
We prayed and we prayed and her pain left her.
We prayed and she walked.
We prayed and she lifted her leg like she hadn’t done in so long.
We prayed and her swelling went down.
The impossible happened, Ruth began to be healed before our very eyes.
It takes only a moment, 20 seconds, believing the impossible, saying the impossible, boldy proclaiming the promises of God for a miracle to occur.
But it is much easier to believe in nothing. To believe in nothing you think you are safe, that there is nothing to lose.
But you actually lose it all because you gain nothing.
Where in your life are you choosing to believe nothing? Could you be missing out on the impossible?
-Elli
(Also, i still need 3,000 dollars, if you want to help support me on this journey click Donate above!!)
