(a journal entry )” Month 1 debrief is coming to a close and my mind is scattered and my heart feels like its a million miles away. Why have you brought me here only to have my heart torn apart? My heart is crying tears that no one can see except for you Lord. I’ve never felt so alone in my life. I feel as if I am standing on the front line, marching into battle, only to look at the enemy ahead of me and realize it’s me. Do you hear me Lord when I cry out to you in my darkest of hours? Have you left me to fight this battle alone? Please send me a sign to remind me that you are holding my arms up when I am weak, that you are the water that refreshed my thirsty soul each morning, that I am not alone here Lord.”
As I wrote this prayer on my last night of debrief I turned to my bible and starting reading the story of Noah and the Ark. I was reminded that when Noah began building the Ark, he was mocked and ridiculed each day but in his faithfulness and obedience to the Lord he endured because he was sure in the Lord’s promises to him. We serve a God that is mighty and faithful to his word and promises to us. He will never leave, forsake, or forget us. As I boarded the train to leave for the Chinese border, I sent a quick prayer to the Lord that he would bring me a rainbow to remind me of his faithfulness.
As we arrived at the custom building, there is was arching over as we passed under it to enter China I knew deep in my heart that the Lord has seen and heard my prayers. He would protect, provide, and make a way for us through the time we were in China and throughout the rest of the race.
