there is a poem by Jim Branch that reads:
“there is something
Beginning to poke its head
Through the soil
That has been becoming
All through the long cold winter
But is just now
Finally ready to show itself
To burst into the fullness
Of all that it was meant to be
Now free from the comfort
And confines of the rich dark soil
The struggle to become has ended
It stretches out its arms
To touch the life-giving sunlight
Dancing in the fullness
Of the intent of its maker
Finally free to be
All it was dreamt to be.”
During each season that I read this poem, I think, “this is it, this is my season of becoming, here I am being pruned for greatness!” then the season ends and I begin another one where I think, “wait no – this must be it, because I am being pruned more!!” then it dawned on me – I am constantly in a season of becoming…
Of becoming less of the world and more like the father,
Of becoming more aligned with my spirit and less aligned with my flesh
Of becoming more obedient to the father’s will and less likely to fall to the enemy’s temptations.
However, I will never ‘become’ like my savior until the day that I die and arrive in heaven, until then I will constantly be in states of ‘becoming.’
This can almost instill anxiety, “constant growth? constant pruning?? when will I ever rest??” But one thing I’ve been learning is resting in the father during growth.
Living from a place of rest.
That doesn’t mean resting with the goal of reaching 100% to then unplug from the source and go back living my life until I need to rest again. It means constantly being connected to the source, constantly being 100% charged.
The other day Connor (one of my SQL’s) asked me if I ever rest to simply rest, or if I always rest with an objective to eventually be ‘rested’ and continue my life. I asked him why would I rest just to rest if I was already fully rested.
However, later I thought about the question more and what my definition of rest was. I realized I had a deep fear of resting just to rest, because all growing up, any rest without purpose was labeled ‘lazy.’ I had allowed that to translate into my life on the race, not allowing myself to rest any more than necessary, because I was rested from sabbath and therefore I thought if I rested anymore beyond what I needed, it would be seen as unhealthy and lazy, however that is not the case at all. I can readily rest in the father whenever I want whether or not I am fully rested. I can rest to rest!!
Rest is not always ‘sleep’ it changes from person to person. For me, rest is stepping back from the high speed of the world around me and going to solitude (something super hard for me to practice but super rewarding), reading a book, watching a movie, or simply sitting outside beneath the warm sun.
I have recognized in this season of becoming, before I meet my father in heaven, rest is essential to an intimate relationship with my father, but more so, when I choose to rest just to rest, he rejoices in my yearning for an abundance of time with him to simply ‘be.’
When I rest from a place of overflow it allows me to gain greater capacity to be able to hold all the Lord is growing me in. In a state of constantly ‘becoming’ the best thing we could do for ourselves is resting to simply rest and from there allow the father to stretch our boundaries of what we think our capabilities are. So, cheers to rest and cheers for the simple truth that rest does not equal laziness.
Growing-from-a-place-of-rest,
El
