Lesson 7: It is better to be near than to be well.
This is a revelation the Lord spoke directly to me while fasting and praying in Santiago, Chile. I was praying for two teammates who were quite sick, and the Lord whispered this to my heart: “It is better to be near than to be well.” At first I was perplexed… “Near what? Did I just make that up? That doesn’t make sense.” Then as I began to meditate on those words, I began to understand.
Closeness, intimacy, and relationship with God are far more important than physical health or any temporary, earthly desire or good thing. Therefore, we should pursue former not the latter. Nearness to God fulfills our purpose in life. He is the One who fills our souls and sustains us more than food or water. Our ability to be near to God is what Jesus died for; that’s the gap He bridged and the purpose for which He suffered. He didn’t die to heal people; that just came along with his presence.
I believe that nearness brings us to wellness (physical, spiritual, mental), but if you can only have one, desire one, and pursue one, choose nearness. Looking all throughout the gospels, we see people simply had to touch Jesus or be spoken to by Him to be healed. Leave Him to the healing; you just worry about being near.
I think this principle is similar to the idea that we have to seek and desire God Himself, not what He offers or how He can bless us – seeking His heart, not His hand. If you only hung out with someone or talked to them or were nice to them because of how generous they were to you or by how much they would compliment you or what they could do for you, we wouldn’t call that love for the person. We would call it love for yourself and manipulation. In the same way, God wants us to love Him for who He is, for His beautiful, loving, gracious character and presence, not for what He can do for us because that’s real love.
If you don’t actually like and desire God for who He is, but rather, you desire Him for what He can offer you, that’s okay. Tell Him that; He already knows it anyways. I felt that that wasn’t okay, like that was disrespectful and rude to tell my Creator that I didn’t like Him. Two things the Lord taught me about this: 1) God loves us for who we are, not for who we pretend to be, so there is no point in lying, faking it, or pretending with Him. He sees the messy and ugly and says, “Still, I love you and you can’t change that.” 2) God is a kind, patient gentleman in the business of transforming hearts. He will change an honest heart that asks to be changed, but He will never force it. He won’t change what we don’t offer up and ask Him to change.
This year, I prayed a prayer that sounded something like this, “God, I don’t like you. I don’t think you’re fair or just or good like you claim to be. You frivolously destroy large numbers of people in the Old Testament, and then you all the sudden get soft and send Jesus in the New and that’s supposed to fix and redeem everything? I don’t like that. I don’t like…” And I proceeded to tell God all things I knew of Him or thought I knew of Him that I didn’t like. I believe God loved that. I was genuine and honest with Him. My words weren’t pretty or packaged in a bow, but they were real. I concluded with, “God, I wanna know you for you, so whatever that is, show me, please.” It was then that He started transforming me because I was finally giving Him the real me that needed transforming.
I think about David and how of all the people in the Bible, he, and an adulterer and murderer, was called a man after God’s own heart. That’s special; that’s incredible. I think one of the reasons is because he opened His whole heart to God, allowing and inviting God to transform His whole heart. He came to the Lord as he was, not hiding his sin or his lack of trust or doubts about the Lord. And because of that, God transformed him through forgiveness and healing to be Israel’s greatest king and a role model of the Jewish and Christian faith. Let your real self get real close to God. Seek Him; draw near to Him, and there you find what you need when you need it.
Back to Chile… after I heard the Lord say that, my prayers changed from ones focused just on healing, to ones focused on them experiencing His presence and character. Then I felt confirmation of His heart and His will to be with them and to heal them, and that He did. Thank you, God!!!
Father, thanks for this reminder. Thanks for taking my honest, deceived heart and revealing truth to it little by little. Would you do that for any person who has yet to experience such honesty and openness with you before? God, make us people who seek You for You and nothing us. Holy Spirit, would you convict us quickly when we start wanting and asking for the things of God above God? Remind us what we really need and what we were really made for. God, I love you. I love your presence. I love to know you and walk with you. I love you just as much when I’m healthy as when I am sick. Would you give all of us fresh and new revelation of your worthiness and your love that allows us to love, worship, and desire you more? Thanks, God. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
