Lesson 3: Wiggle.
This lovely lesson is one the Lord began teaching me very early on in my Race and one that has come up again and again and again since. God began teaching me this lesson through the story of the healing at the pool, in John 5:1-17, and through a teaching of Joyce Meyers.
In this story, there is pool in Jerusalem called Bethesda. Around this pool lay multitudes of disabled people, people who are blind, lame, paralyzed, etc. It is believed that an angel of the Lord would come down at certain times and stir the water, and the first one in the water after the stirring would be healed from whatever affliction they had. Jesus comes to this pool and approaches one man, an invalid who had been lying there for 38 years. Jesus doesn’t waste much time and immediately asks the man if he wants to be healed. The man responds with an excuse and defensive blame shifting. He doesn’t answer Jesus’ question, but instead proceeds to tell Jesus that there is no one to carry him into the pool and that every time the water is stirred up, other people get in front of him, preventing him from being able to get in and get healed.
This man laid near a healing pool in excuses and self-pity for 38 years. He spent 38 years passively waiting on someone else to help him. He spent 38 years blaming others who were hindering him. Joyce poses this idea, saying, “No, he couldn’t walk, but he could wiggle. In 38 years, he could have gotten there.” This man altogether gave up on helping himself and fighting for his healing. Even when Jesus, The Great Physician, was right in front of him asking if he wanted to be healed, his mind was so tainted by complacency and excuses – he had already given up – instead of replying with a, “Yes, Jesus, I have been seeking healing for 38 years! Heal me now!”, he said, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
I was in Nepal when the Lord started teaching me this. It’s funny looking back, because it was just month two of the Race, but it was around month sixteen of having a relationship with the Lord but struggling more than ever with being passionless, numb, absent of genuine joy, life, and hope, and not living whatever “abundant life” was supposed to be. I was tired and exhausted of doing the right things, worn out by walking in obedience to the life Christ calls us to in every way I knew of and in every way I believed He was asking me to, but not yet seeing fruit from it, not yet reaping the reward for it, and not yet seeing His promises fulfilled in me. Jesus promises abundant life, freedom, and unending joy to those who seek Him. I was seeking Him in every way I knew how, but still felt dead, discontent, and unfulfilled inside. I came to a point in the Nepal, where I was like, “God, I am done. I don’t know what else you want from me, what else you want me to do. The ball is in your court. I’ve done all you have asked. I am done. Do something. I cannot do anything more.”
Then, I read this story and heard this message. It was the most empowering and encouraging thing I could have heard from the Lord. It was like He was saying, “Ellie, I hear you. I see you. I know you and how you have sought me and obeyed me. No step of faith, prayer you have prayed, or act of obedience on your part has been a waste. Even when it seems there is nothing more you can do, not another step you can take because of weariness or defeat, you can wiggle.” The Lord was encouraging me to not give up hope, to not throw in the towel, to not lay in my disabilities waiting on another, but to find a way to wiggle. For me at that time, that meant asking one more person for prayer, asking one more person to battle on my behalf in the spiritual realm. Later, that meant letting my team just a bit more deeply into my struggles. Another time, that meant singing a song of praise and thanksgiving even though I totally didn’t believe the words and definitely didn’t feel like it.
Wherever you are, whatever struggle you are facing, no matter how much you want to give up, don’t. You are not defeated. You will not be defeated. Don’t allow yourself to believe that you are or to live in such a way that will feed that lie. Say one more prayer; read the verse one more time; declare truth out loud; ask for encouragement; encourage yourself; go to church; whatever you can do, whatever that “wiggle” is for you, do it, and keep doing it. Hopefully it won’t take 38 years, but the freedom, healing, wholeness, forgiveness, abundant life – whatever you are seeking that God has promised – is ahead; don’t stop going in that direction, whether it’s by walking or wiggling.
“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” Hebrews 10:36 – read the rest of the passage and through ch. 11 – it’s soooo good.
God, Thank you for your encouragement to wiggle. Thank you that there is always one more baby half step we can take towards you, towards faith, towards worship, towards a miracle. Jesus, you came, in part, to simply be with us to be able to know humanity and to empathize with us. Thank you that you don’t sit perched in glory in heaven hollering at us to try harder and do better. But instead, you bear our burdens with us, encouraging us and empowering us by your Holy Spirit. You lock eyes with us and say, “I know it’s hard. Let’s do it together.” Help us to look to you, fix our eyes on you, listen to you, and wiggle right in step with you. I feel like somebody’s first wiggle is going to be inviting someone in and asking for accountability to wiggle. Holy Spirit, would you strengthen that person right now to do so. Thank you that life and healing is ours in your name. Thanks that you withhold no good thing from your kids. Thanks, God, for the gift of wiggling – in the spiritual and the natural! In Jesus’ name, Amennn!
