Greetings my amazing friends!
According to urban dictionary swag is defined as the way in which you carry yourself. Swag consists of your overall demeaner, confidence and style.
Need a visual? Exhibit A: The kids got swag plus he's freakin precious. Heartbreaker in the making.
Over the past week, I was hit with reality across the face….HARD. Although life is FABULOUS right now and I am truly blessed with an amazing & chill schedule I am FREAKING OUT on the inside. My cores are spinning around like I'm about to go on a roller coaster ride yet I have no plans of going to a theme park in the near future.
Why is this you may ask..
I have realized that there are MAJOR changes coming around the corner.
- Turning 23 in less than a month: First may I say, THIS IS NOT OLD but I'm having a minor mental breakdown about how fast life is flying by me & no matter what I do, I can't slow down the time.
- Student teaching in the spring: I know it will be wonderful to truly feel my gifts shine & come alive BUT it means growing up, writing lesson plans & waking up at 6:30 am Monday-Friday.
- Graduation in May: I'm a super senior (taking the victory lap, woop) & have been expressing my releif that will come when I no longer have to pay tuition but have recently seen college life with new eyes, not wanting to leave its comfort zone & enter into the "real world."
- "The World Race" in July: I confess, I have not been diligent about fundraising. Instead I have let the numbers rule my mind & have avoided workign on it like its a plague. Furthermore, I've been constantly questioning if I'm really "ready" for the different situations & experiences coming my way.
Although these are all GOOD things, I'm overwhelmed by these huge changes that are out of my control. Without turning this into a debbie downer fest(negative nancy, depressed state) about my not so difficult life, I will get to the point.
I am amazing at appearing confident & "together," ignoring the ruckus & racket of negative emotions building up inside me aka my swag is an act (sound familiar??). I confess I'm a "poser."
There are times in my life where I have no reasonable justification for feeling any emotion but contentment & that's when Satan likes to spin, twist, manipulate & mold our joy into anxiety or stress. I am in no way complaining about my life but I am frustrated by these negative emotions that have been consuming my thoughts over the last couple months.
Through friends, family & His truth. God is comforting me with the following:
- No matter how "set" our plan is God is a radical man who can bring something "wild" & "crazy" into the mundane. -Proverbs 19:21, Proverbs 16:9, Proverbs 4:12
- He loves to give us the desires of our heart & at the same time knows exactly what we need (what a beautiful combination). -Psalm 37:4
- Even when life is swirling around me & it becomes chaotic, God remains steady & unchanging through it all. -Hebrew 13:8
That my friend is what I need help believing & where a majority of my prayers have been lately. Trusting that my creator will never let me live a "dull" & "predicatlbe" life if I truly let him rule it. He's got my back & will never let me stay knocked down. My prayer is to believe this with all my being, wiping away negative thoughts and shaking them off. If you are also feeling ruled by constricting thoughts, may we all experience freedom from them.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future & a hope." -Jeremiah 29:11
>>Props break: I praise Jesus for fellowship & my amazing friends who continue to remind me that "God has a plan" and in no way do I need to be anxious about the future. Thank you for my friends who keep me sane & remind me this life is a gift. Your encouragement & love has been my everything these past months. Proverbs 12:25, Thanks for your cheerful words>>>
My baby sister aka the ultimate rock in my life (minus Jesus of course).
Your ridiculous friend,
Ellie
A little soul for your morning plus the dudes got swag 😉
