My Peoples-
I have officially started student teaching. How is it? Hard in every aspect of the word. It's difficult to remain patient. It's difficult to constantly love and not have "favorites." It's difficult to admit I don't know what I'm doing and ask for help. It's difficult to be joyful when I'm waking up at 5 am.
One of the questions that constantly creeps into my mind when a student asks an obvious question or the same question multiple times in a row….
"Do they really not know?"
BUT
Surely someone taught them.
Isn't it basic knowledge?
This past Sunday I found myself sitting in church and was aware of some very ugly lies that were creeping into my mind…
I'm still the same person I used to be…
I'm not as good of a Christian as……
I will never stop struggling with…
This isn't the first time these things have crept into my mind and I don't think it will be the last.
Something Greg said in service was this >
"You don't have to be perfect to be part of his perfect plan."
Why is it so hard for me to accept his love? Why do I constantly doubt what he has told me over and over again? Is your distorted view of yourself getting in the way of feeling his love? Is your pride stopping you from accepting your need of him?
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory…" -Ephesians 3:20
At the end of the day, I love teaching and have no doubt I'm in the right place. I will have patience with my kids and tell them the answer 10 times if they need it. I see them all graduating and changing the world. I think that's how God sees me. He NEVER sees my as my "old" self or holds past mistakes against me. He wants to love, guide and direct me. He has big plans for me and sees me doing something crazy legit.So what goes wrong?
I trip myself up.
A word I taught my students> Self fulfilling prophecy: a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true.
Trick is, how do we step away from the path the world has molded us and walk down the more difficult but life giving path God has paved for us? All I know is, I'm going to fight to see the world through his eyes, and his only. Make the world, don't let the world make you.
"So walk as children of the light." -Ephesians 5:8
Just like my own father, His true joy is to teach us. 
Praying for my brothers and sisters,
Ellie
