dudes and sex

Hello my people-
 
I don't have daddy issues. I grew up with a wonderful father who showed me what it looked like to be treated like a princess. Doing things like buying me flowers every valentines day, even when I went off to college. He is a man of God who truly affirms that I am loved and special. 

A man is someone who you seduce with no regard to his emotions because in the history of man, they have been flippant and inconsiderate of women’s emotions. Men are prideful and use sex as a means of fulfilling their ego with little regard to the emotional scar it leaves on the hearts of women. Sex is used as a tool to feel wanted and needed.
 
Men give the emotional to get the physical. Women give the physical to get the emotional.
 
The church encourages us to wait till marriage but we are left in confusion when sexual desires arise. The church has forgotten to acknowledge we are sexual beings and God was the creator of sex. The issue is not the physical act of sex but our lack of self-esteem and value, which leads us to seek it out elsewhere.
 
I didn’t wait. My heart was broken by one man upon whom I decided revenge was my only option. I started down a destructive path, seducing guys with little regard to their emotions. What I didn’t realize is every time I “used” them, I was settling and being sent the message I wasn’t’ worth it. Wasn’t worth dating or wooing, but my value lied in my ability to perform. I was wrecked in the area of relationships with the opposite sex without realizing it.
 
The Lord has opened my eyes. Opened my eyes to the fact that the “revenge” I was taking out on men had a detrimental effect on them and me. I was confirming the lies of society in their hearts. We were both broken and for that I must apologize. Apologize on behalf of all women who use men. Who hold all men responsible for the scars on our heart.
 
Women we cannot hold all men responsible for the scars on our hearts. We choose whom to date. We choose whom to sleep with. We set the standards. We set the bar. We must take responsibility and instead of becoming bitter, forgive.
 
This is a fallen world therefore sexual abuse and rape is part of many women’s stories. Know these situations are exempt from what I am saying. Know a great injustice was done to you and only God has the ability to heal, not other men. Good men do exist.
 
Only God can heal our scars, the scars that feel as if they will never leave. Only God can radically change our view of sex, love and relationships. God is doing that for me this month and no matter your story or history, you can feel whole again. God has an amazing man for you who does not care about your past but wants to love you the way you are. We were not created to settle and in doing so we only hurt ourselves.
 
Men and women alike we must realize the lies culture has told us. We were created to treat one another with love, respect and kindness. We were created to perfectly compliment each other. We must relearn what this looks like, together.
 

 
Love,
Ellie
 
This blog repeats what I have talked about and is another story similar to my own. Anyone who has had sex, is having sex, considered having sex, or has chosen to wait should read this blog….

http://goodwomenproject.com/sex/a-story-about-being-chosen