My people-
Team Spirit Roar has officially had an awesome month 8 in the beautiful country of Cambodia.
This past month we were living in a TREE HOUSE! The kid in me couldn’t have been more excited. It’s legit a wood house on stilts arrayed with our hammocks, sleeping pads and extra large bags. We taught English in the public school system, my passion and joy! We were with three other teams which is wonderful because I haven’t had much of an opportunity to bond with them. The food was AWESOME, rice, VEGETABLES, FRUIT and MEAT for every meal (know the parentals like that one). Needless to say it was an amazing month.
This hurts my pride do admit but this is not what first went through my head. Instead I focused on the dirty water we use to bathe, clean dishes and do laundry in (I need to emphasize dirty but safe). I was thinking about the awkwardness of the squatty potty and my dread in using it. I thought about the heat and little escape we had from it.
The second night I was overwhelmed with conviction. It was month 8 and I was still comparing to American standards. It was easier for me to immediately focus on what we didn’t have versus what we did.
Again, the pride in me would like to hide this factor, tricking you all into thinking I am content 24/7 and have a positive outlook on life ALL the time but that’s not what I’m called to share. I’m called to share my imperfections with the world and struggles as well as my growth and change.
Here’s my point. I could sit here and beat myself up but ultimately this realization that I had was awesome. In realizing my tendencies to focus on the downsides of a certain situation, I'm walking in changing that attitude. I'm admitting that our culture has instilled negative outlooks into our being but I am no longer accepting those for normal or using that as an excuse.
Sometimes we forget what is truly important in life. We tend to focus on the wrong things.
I strongly desire to see things from a different view. A heavenly view, one that is not touched by money, looks, or circumstances. My prayer is to walk as if my king is alive and heaven is touching earth wherever I walk.
I know I will get off track. I know I will make mistakes. I know I will have to be called out and steered back towards the right path.
I can’t explain the freedom of not fearing being a screw up. The freedom in being able to admit your mistakes but not let them tie me down or beat me up. The freedom in conviction is that it exists simply to teach us.
I now realize my heavenly dad teaches me by correction. It is like any parent, they do not discipline or call us out to make us feel bad about ourselves but simply because they desire for us to be the best that we can be.
Praise Jesus for he continues to call me into greatness. He truly does care for me.
In the end, I am always blessed.
Love.
Ellie
