“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.”
1 Corinthians 12:12
That verse explains perfectly what God has been teaching me this week in the Dominican Republic.
From the get go I did as I was told, followed directions, and tended to do everything out of obligation rather than out of love for the ministry and the people I was called to minister. One day in particular we were sitting with our ministry leader to prepare for the morning session. Rather than getting straight to work writing out more English programming we spent the majority of the morning talking about our passions and reflecting on a song’s lyrics and how we felt they applied to where we’re at now. Rather than focus on the song and letting the lyrics and God speak to me, I was focused on my frustration and just wanting to get my task that I had started yesterday done. I was very task oriented and that’s all I could focus on. Then when we finally got to finish our work, the work I was so intent on getting done, it took only 5-10 minutes to finish and then I spent the rest of the time sitting around and bored.
God probably got a chuckle out of that.
Later that evening I decided to break into the letters and Bible verses that my small group back home had made and sent with me. The first verse I pulled out was the verse at the beginning of this blog. Talk about a slap in the face. Then, I reached in and pulled out a random letter, it talked solely about love.
Alright God, I’ll take a hint.
I needed to change my attitude and mindset. I was focusing on what needed to be done and missing out on the opportunity to love, and love adequately, the people I was working with and serving.
Since that realization I have felt a shift in how I approach each new task. I try to do it out of a place of love, genuine love. This became apparently during our first day of English camp. The kids were rowdy and things were chaotic as we tried to work out the kinks in our programming. And while initially I was frustrated I eventually just gave it over to God and simply loved on the children that had showed up for camp. And boy was I blessed.
The kids were amazing! Rowdy, yes, but immediately at ease and trusting as the day progressed. It was as though all the fears and worries that plagued them every day were left at the gate and they could just be kids. They were always hugging and kissing us and would even grab our arms and put them around their small bodies and refuse to let go. And I just gave them my love. I loved them even though I’d never met them.
So while I know I will still struggle (we don’t change overnight), I am praying every day that God change my heart for the better. He is good.
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On another note: we have a route change!
Instead of Nicaragua, my squad will be heading to Honduras. Woo!
