One of the themes on the World Race is Abandon. Leaving your material life behind, and replacing it with a new life fully alive in Christ. AIM leadership told us this when we signed up for the World Race, and I thought that I liked this idea of “abandonment.” I also thought that I had already abandoned a lot. I left my city, family, andI consolidated all my possessionsto what I could fit in a backpack. A 17Kilo backpack, but a none the less a backpack.
Lately I have been struggling with the fact that life on the World Race isn’t “normal.” Besides God (and maybe Ducky, but he is on alower level than God) there is nothing normal or consistent or unchanging on the World Race. This makes me long for “normal life” back home. Doing something like going bowling or going to a movie makes me feel “normal.” I think I am staring to see normal as the person that I recognize myself to be. The person that I was before the Race.
When you have moments when you stop thinking about yourself long enough to see the World the Way God sees it, you realize that you could never go back and live the life you did before the race. You freak out when you hear your heart saying that you would give anything for the Lord.
I want to give my life for the cause of Jesus. That might be true,butsometimes I wish I could forget what the Lord has shown me, so that I can go homeand be “normal.”
I want to give my life for the cause of Jesus. That might be true,butsometimes I wish I could forget what the Lord has shown me, so that I can go homeand be “normal.”
But when I was at home and “normal,” I was hungry and empty. I asked God to change me, to give me more. So He has, and He is.
Here is what I’m really trying to say…maybe. Giving up most of my material possessions was the easy part. Giving up my identity is where I struggle.
I think some moments, I would prefer to see myself as a sinner instead of as a redeemed child of God. (but not really.)
Summary: I struggling with abandoning my old identity, and replacing it with God’s identity for me.
