How in the world did I get all the way through this year? There are only 10 days left of my World Race and it feels like it just started! It feels like yesterday that I stayed up all night packing because of a surprise donation at the last minute. It feels like just yesterday that my mom was making copies of my passport for me.
“How many copies do you need?” she asked.
“Just a few, maybe five copies.”
“Ok, so I’ll just make 15 copies.” She says turning around to the copier.
“Wait no! I only need a few copies. I just need five Ma.”
“Ok I’ll make you 15.”
I feels like yesterday that I landed in my first foreign country. And man was it foreign! Within the first 20 minutes of getting off the airplane I wanted to turn around and go back home to my comfortable home. I left Missouri as snow was falling and landed on the 100 degree at night tropical and very volcanic island of Bali, Indonesia. My first month as a missionary my teammates and I slept in a storage unit with no water, one light bulb, and one outlet that sparked at random times. The first night there all I did was cry and sleep and cry and sleep. I knew that I could either dig my feet in and remain scared and unfamiliar or I could allow God to teach me what it was he wanted to teach me.
Here I am 11 months after that first night in Bali, so happy that I didn’t skate through this year simply waiting until December. Of course there have been times that all I wanted to do was get on a plane and leave and absolutely never look back. But God is smarter that that. Not only did God put excellent brothers and sisters with me this year to talk me off the ledge, but he also made sure I didn’t have enough money to fly home.
The closest I have ever come to quitting and leaving was in Zambia. That is the hardest place I’ve ever been to. My mother jokingly asked once why I picked the genocide route of the race. My squad has visited places like Cambodia, Vietnam, Bosnia, and Kosovo. All of these places have been through genocides, wars, and atrocities that many Americans today could not imagine seeing in the movies much less living them. So to say that Zambia was my hardest month is saying something.
They told me our team was going to be in the bush of Zambia. Well listen, I’d been away from home for 8 months at this point. My prayers were very straight forward.
“God, there are a lot of people on my squad that want to live in the bush this month, let them go and I’ll stay in the city.”
But wouldn’t you know that God likes to remind us that our comfort does not come before his plans. So after weeks of praying that I would get to remain in the city, they told me I would be 8 hours away from civilization in the bush of Zambia. That month was an expedition of sorts, our host had never worked with our organization before. We were being sent out to Serenje to some pastors that agreed to house us for the month. But when we got there, the pastors split us up into groups of two and three people and put us 30 minutes to an hour away from each other.
Our host was the kindest man, but he had long legs and was used to walking miles a day in the desert. So from sun up to sun down Cassie and I would walk from house to house evangelizing. I have never been tested like this before. We were physically drained, exhausted, and hungry. We ate what the locals ate, which wasn’t much. We had rice, hot dogs, sometimes chicken, and nshema. Nshema, pronounced “sheema”, was a product of Maize and was boiled into lumps about the size of a fist. Imagine eating lumps of plain grits every day for every meal and that is what the Zambians eat daily. There is no nutritional value and there are chemicals added to make you feel full when you eat it. These people are slowly starving.
On top of this we could only drink a small portion of water a day. And at the end of the long day we would take a cold bucket shower and go to bed. It would all start over in the morning. There was no resting, there was nowhere with wifi so that I could even call home and escape where I was for a minute. I was just stuck out in the middle of the African bush. When it finally came time to leave a few people were crying because they were going to miss their hosts and the wonderful time they had in Serenje. I on the other hand was giving Serenje a backwards wave and running to the bus back to civilization 8 hours away.
When I look at all of the struggles I had in Zambia I get angry at the world, that these country’s leaders will live in luxury and let their people starve. I get upset that the women are still treated like property. I can find all of these things that I absolutely hated about that month. But that’s not what God wants me to look back and remember. He wants me to remember the hundreds of people that I got to tell about Jesus. I was pushed to my limits, but he helped me go to more houses and share stories and encouragements from the bible. Because of this month you could put me in front of a group with no notice and I can boldly share a message.
Serenje taught me that your hardest moments in life are when you are the closest to God, or the farthest away. It really is your choice. He’s just waiting for you to notice him. He’s also waiting for you to notice that it’s not all about you. He has plans for your life, but some of those plans are for meant to benefit others. Quit being so selfish with your time and prayers. God is wanting to use you to influence those around you.
I’m not telling you that you must travel to another continent to do it either. The first step is to realize that God wants to save you and the guy next to you. He wants to speak to the barista at your favorite coffee shop. He wants to talk to the president and to the rice farmer in Indonesia. He wants to speak to all his children and we are being selfish with our influence. Take a step back from your life.
But enough preachy preachy. I’m running out of Wifi and I need to finish up. I cannot wait to be home and share all of these stories with you in person. So look for my coming at first like on the fifth day at dawn. Just kidding, that’s a Lord of the Rings quote. I’ll be home in two weeks!
