Seriously, how do you know what love is?
We’ve got the whole 1 Corinthians 13 thing. But as Tim has expressed to me, that has become so overused in every single wedding across America that I don’t think people even know what it means anymore.
Monday night, after we made dinner for our wonderful Pozegan contacts, Marijan asked us a question: is it easier for you to love your Christian brothers and sisters, or to love those who suffer from addictions to alcohol, drugs, and other things that general society considers to be taboo?
The seven of us gave a variety of answers. Some were more comfortable loving Christians; others found it easier to love the rest of mankind. I was ambiguous, and didn’t really answer the question. Big surprise there.
But I’ve had some time to think, and figure out what I think love is.
Love is universal. Love requires no common language. Love is not conditional. Love is not weakness. Love is strength. Love is challenging. Love brings benefit to both sides. Love does not have to be mutual. Love is purest when it is not mutual. Love requires apologies. Love doesn’t have an agenda. Love doesn’t care about political affiliation, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs.
Loving someone is not the same as being in love with them. It means that you make a concerted effort to be aware of their needs, spoken and unspoken. It means paying for a meal for them. It means carrying their pack. It means hugging them for no reason. It means learning to say “I love you” in their language. It means making an effort to learn their language. It means that when conflict arises, you make an effort to figure out what caused it, and how to prevent it from happening again. It means that when you think you’re right, you bite your tongue. It means that when you disagree with a decision made by person in leadership, you respect them by supporting their decision in a public setting.
As cliched as it sounds, love means leaving yourself behind. The thing is, it might surprise you just how into yourself you are. It’s been a wake-up call for me. But I can’t imagine being surrounded by a more amazing team to learn these lessons and take these steps of growth. It’s like mental puberty finally hit. Hopefully my love voice stops cracking soon.
